cameron diazA new chapter in Robert Pattinson's life is about to unfold. It is: The Grand Love Affair With the Experienced Woman. And said experienced woman is waiting in the wings right now, ready to swoop in and carry Rob off to her love lair. Who could she be? Well, a source tells The Sun (that reliable source of everything important we need to know, ever) that Reese Witherspoon invited Cameron Diaz to her wine tasting. And when Cam found out Robert Pattinson was going, too, she gave an emphatic YES to that invitation. Now you know: Cameron Diaz and Rob Pattinson, that's what's next.

Cam's blabbermouth friend says, "Cameron thinks Rob is really hot and is up for making a play for him. The fact that he's 27 doesn't bother her." Cameron is 40, which for painfully personal reasons I will not call "older." Age is a state of mind and all that, ahem. Anyway, that said, what the hell is wrong with Cameron?

Look, I get it: Robert Pattinson is a cutie. I see him and I just wanna pinch his cheeks except I'd probably get my fingers cut on those cheekbones, know what I mean? But in real life, I'm a grown-ass woman who likes grown-ass men. I don't see what the appeal would be for Cameron, unless she believes dating a younger man buys her a ticket to the fountain of youth, as so many middle-aged men seem to think. Beats getting Botox injections, I suppose.

But not only is Rob 13 years younger than she is, he's also in rebound mode. Making a play for him is pretty much signing up for one more meaningless fling. Ever since Justin Timberlake and A-Rod, Cameron's love life has been in kind of a lull. I'm not sure Rob is going to kick it up much for her. At the risk of offending Rob's fans, Cameron, you can do better.

Oh wait, I'm talking about this like it's really happening! Silly me. This is all probably totally made up -- unless planting this story in The Sun is the celeb equivalent of passing a note to the boy two rows over that reads, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no." Rob might as well circle "yes" and get to know Cameron a little. Hey, prove me wrong, Rob! Wouldn't it be a hoot if it turned out to be the Love of Their Lives?

Do you think Rob and Cameron would make a good pair? Can you even picture them standing next to each other?

 

Image via Pacific Coast News