You guys, it looks like Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend! Yaaaayyeeee! Our favorite serial-dating songstress has long since moved on from Harry Whatshisface, and it's time for a new boy. Behold: Taylor and singer Ed Sheeran went paddle boarding together just after a Boston concert this weekend. You know -- Ed Sheeran, the ginger-haired opening act for Taylor's 2013 tour? EPIC TOUR LOVE.
But wait -- I don't think we're seeing the whole picture, here. It's true Taylor spent the day with her favorite ginger, but she also invited her dad along plus another friend. Not very intimate. What kind of date is this? Is Sheeran still stuck in the friend zone?
Not to mention! Taylor wore that swimsuit. It's adorable. It's stylish. I love it. But ... it's kind of a man-repeller of a two-piece. If you're 23 years old and have a cute figure, this is not what you wear if you're thinking "come to my cabana later, luvahh." This is the swimwear equivalent of dancing with a Bible between you and your partner. If, on the other hand, you're with someone who lights hot flames of lust within you're probably going to wear something less twee, less cutesy, less, well, you're going to wear less.
What is it with Taylor's G-rated, sexless, photo-op dates? There was the time she went apple picking with Jake Gyllenhaal. (I can think of several things I'd much rather do with Jake.) And then there was the time she and Harry took a freakin' baby to the zoo. A baby! Look, these sound like fun dates. But I'm starting to notice a pattern here.
But wait, there is theory number two! Maybe Taylor is wearing her don't-f*ck-me bikini because dad's around. And she wanted to introduce Sheeran to her dad, but she also wants Ed to get his approval. So no shenanigans! It certainaly would explain Ed's swimwear choice. Really, Ginger? Long black shorts and a t-shirt? Talk about woman-repeller. Why not hire a plane to write the words "Ain't No One Gettin' Laid at Chez Swift Tonight" in the sky while you're at it?
It's a mystery, especially since neither of these two will cop up to dating each other. Are they just friends, or is this a serious "meet the parents" date? Considering Ed's closer to Taylor's age (he's 22) than previous boyfriends and all they have in common, I think it could be a great match. But I guess we'll have to wait for their next respective albums to get the real scoop.
Do you think Taylor and Ed are dating or just paddling through the friend zone?
Image via Splash News