'Couples Therapy' Recap: Catelynn & Tyler Face the Ultimate Relationship Test

Catelynn Lowell Couples TherapyWhen Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra of Teen Mom fame signed up for VH1's Couples Therapy, we all wondered what these childhood sweethearts could possibly have going wrong in their relationship. They've been together forever -- through a teen pregnancy, their parents getting married, placing a daughter for adoption, and some pretty hellish childhoods -- what could top those tests?

Well, maybe being childhood sweethearts?

Last week we saw Tyler break off their engagement after a one-on-one therapy session with celebrity therapist Dr. Jenn Berman, leaving Catelynn (understandably) hysterical on her bed.

This week it was Catelynn's turn for a one-on-one, and Dr. Jenn quickly hit upon one of their biggest problems.

Every time Catelynn talks, she mentions the word "we," but she never talks about herself. The two are, as Dr. Jenn said, completely "enmeshed."

More From The Stir: 15 Amazing Things About Marrying Your Childhood Sweetheart

It's a pretty common problem for childhood sweethearts, and I know from whence I speak. I've been with my husband since I was 16 (and we've known each other even longer). Sometimes I forget what my life was like without him in it. Sometimes I forget that there is a me beyond the we.

That's exactly what Catelynn is going through. As she said when Dr. Jenn asked what she does to take care of herself, "I don't know what that looks like or how to do it."

When your relationship springs from childhood, you don't get that me time in early adulthood to figure out who you are and what you want -- you go straight from being someone's child to being someone's significant other. Don't get me wrong; there are benefits to this (this is not an indictment of my marriage here!). But Catelynn and Tyler have to get past this sticking point if they want to have a successful marriage.

A marriage is only as strong as the two pieces that have come together. It's great that they've come through so much together, but their real test is in figuring out what they can do on their own, what they can each bring to the table.

Seeing the engagement called off was painful for Catelynn, but now she has a chance to find herself and get comfortable with herself before becoming a part of a married couple. And she deserves that!

Are you married to your childhood sweetheart? Do you ever feel yourself getting lost in your marriage?

 

Image via VH1

reality tv, recaps, teen mom

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nonmember avatar Joy

I also had my daughter at the age of 16 and my ex husband her father was 18. We have struggled over the years and we are in our 30s now trying again. I think you have to have time to find yourself no matter the cost. Its weird to think we still have the same feelings after all these years. I say if you really love someone let them go and you will find them again at a better time and place.

nonmember avatar molly

Joy,

Your comment was beautiful. "If you love someone let them go and you will find them again at a better time and place" is just lovely.

I truly believe this also.

nonmember avatar Gina

My brother and his wife started dating when she was 13 and he was 14, dated for 7 years, and have now been married for 5 (going on 6). She told me the other day that she will be 26 and will have been in a relationship with him for half her life, and she couldn't be happier and that she married her best friend. I don't think it matters whether you are childhood sweethearts or not, all couples have their strong points and their weaknesses they need to work on. My brother and his wife have one of the strongest relationships I have seen compared to other friends and family members who have been through multiple divorces.

Yes, Catelynn needs to be aware of herself and her own identity without Tyler, but maybe she has a hard time distinguishing the two because of the fact they have been through so much together, and he has been the one to help her through all of the problems that she has had. I don't think that it is necessarily a result of being with her childhood sweetheart though.

nonmember avatar lindsay

There are other more interesting couples on couples therapy

Brandy Barnett

I think it says a lot that she doesn't know what taking care of herself looks like. April was norole model in that department and as a child, Catelynn was parenting her mother and little brother instead of developing herself. I see why she's so afraid of losing Tyler, she's had to struggle with so many situations that were way over her head as a child that she couldn't fix that she hasn't had a chance to develop mastery and confidence.  The thing that impresses me so much with these two is their maturity I seeing all this dysfunction and trying to do something about it 

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