Where in the world is Kim Kardashian? According to Kris Jenner, everywhere! Kim's at the doctor; at the pediatrician's office; out to dinner; hanging out at the beach. It's just nobody's happened to see any of these outings. And, I mean, I can't say I'm surprised. New mom Kim Kardashian would totally be an easy person to overlook in Los Angeles, where everybody's not just an actor and a writer, but paparazzi, too.
Or Kris Jenner is a bigger liar than my greasy-faced and fingered 3-year-old niece who told me she "didn't just eat a stick of butter."
On her new talk show, which seems to focus on Kim and baby North West, Kris told the audience that Kim goes out all the time. These rumors that she's quarantined in her own home? They're poppycock, she tells you! Kim's always out, painting the town. We're all just missing it!
Personally, I think Kris is lying -- how have we not seen a photo of Kim out to dinner?! That, or the Kardashians have one hell of a deal with the paparazzi, in which a pic of Kim and her new baby will be released on their terms and their terms only -- which, in my opinion, is to be timed with the birth of Kate Middleton's baby.
Think about it. North West is old news right now. Right now, it's all about Kate Middleton and the impending royal baby. I don't know about you, but I'd certainly be more excited to hear about Kate giving birth than seeing a pic of Kim's baby. And Kim knows that -- which is why she's been in hiding for so long. She's trying to build tension and suspense, and then when Kate goes into labor and everyone is over Kim and her baby, BAM! She hits us with an Us Weekly cover. She's going to try to take the spotlight away from Kate and bring it back to herself. Why else would a person who has blogged and tweeted and Instagrammed every moment of their waking life for the past four years suddenly go completely silent?
It's just a theory. But there is no way in hell Kim has gone out for a casual dinner post-birth and nobody managed to get a pic of it. Even if there were no paps in sight, someone would have taken a photo with their iPhone. That, or like I said, the Kardashians and the paparazzi have some sort of deal and control the media more than we ever thought possible. Either's plausible. Either's kind of gross.
What do you think?
Image via Guise Archives/Flickr