Sigh. Even though she has all sorts of experience with realty TV dating, being that she appeared on The Bachelor and starred as The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky's thoughts about Desiree Hartsock's hometown dates (or those on any of the shows) are so off base, I'm not even sure where to begin.
Get this one -- she thinks going home to meet the Bachelor or Bachelorette's family has nothing to do with actually getting to know them. (Why would it? Eye roll.)
She also doesn't think the hometown dates should have any sort of influence on who makes it to the overnight dates on the show's finale -- and wait until you hear her reasoning.
Ali wrote in her E! Bachelorette blog (does every freakin' celeb have a blog these days?):
Would you choose not to marry the love of your life just because you didn't mesh well with his family? I would never let that stop me from marrying the man of my dreams. It would totally suck if he didn't click with my family, but at the end of the day, he's marrying me and I am marrying him. That's all that truly matters, right?
I hate to break it to her, but she couldn't be more WRONG.
While not getting along with a man's family may not be enough to stop her from marrying him, she's setting herself up for a whole host of struggles in her marriage if she thinks her relationship with his family (and his with hers) won't have a direct effect on it.
Trust me, it most definitely will. As someone whose in-laws don't particularly care for her and never have, I know all too well just how much tension having a strained relationship with your spouse's family can put on your marriage. I don't care how in love you think you are with a man. His family is his family -- and they've been in his life a lot longer than you have. And even if they don't treat you well or accept you for who you are, he'll still feel some degree of loyalty to them, which is basically a recipe for major arguments.
I guess I'll probably never know what it's like to have in-laws who absolutely adore me and think of me as a daughter, not simply their son's wife -- but I'm assuming it's a pretty darn good feeling. And if Ali knows what's good for her, she'll find a man with a family who genuinely loves her and who she cares just as much about in return.
As for Desiree or any future Bachelors and Bachelorettes -- there's no way they'll ever have a chance of finding true love if they don't go on the hometown dates. The success rate of couples who get engaged on the show is so low as it is. They need all the help and reassurance they can get.
Would you ever marry someone if you did not get along with their family?
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