Lea Michele hasn't said anything about boyfriend Cory Monteith's death since it happened, but we can only imagine how she must be feeling: Utterly devastated. It's hard enough to lose a loved one under any circumstances, but to lose one when that person is in the prime of his life, and the love between you is in its prime, must be staggering. Despite reports that said the Glee pair had broken up shortly before his death, sources say that's complete hogwash and that they were "100% together and completely in love" when tragedy stuck.
One hundred percent together ... completely in love. This must be the most surreal and horrific experience for Lea. How do you cope with the early death of a loved one?
Friends say Lea is "hysterical" and "inconsolable" over Cory's death and that's to be expected. In fact, no one should try to console her right now. Lea should grieve in whichever way feels right to her. Everyone grieves differently. For example, when my beloved young relative died, I didn't want to talk about it too much. It made me burst into tears every time I did, and there was a time when I needed to go back to work, and bursting into tears every 10 minutes was not letting me get my job done. So I tried to put it out of my mind. Yet that was perceived as being insensitive by another person in my family, who wanted to talk more about it.
But everyone handles death differently and people should be understanding about that. It's everyone's right to handle it the way they want to without being pressured.
When she feels stronger, Lea may want to join a support group for people who have also lost a partner early. I think there is something very specific about that kind of loss; it's different than losing a parent or a child -- not worse, but different. Losing the one person in the world you feel understood you best can leave you in a dark, black void. Lea and Cory were friends before they were lovers, so Lea has lost a great friend too.
Additionally, Lea might be dealing with the fact that Cory's demise may be related to his struggles with drugs and alcohol -- and the possibility that he was hiding the extent of his addiction from her. That can be a double whammy -- grief and a sense of betrayal.
There is also something called "survivor guilt" and the torturous idea that you could have done more for a loved one.
Experts say that you shouldn't focus on "getting over" a loved one's death, but learning how to incorporate that tragedy into your life while continuing to live to the best of your ability.
My heart goes out to Lea and anyone who has lost a partner far too early.
Have you ever lost a spouse or partner? How did you cope?
Image via Splash News