I'm just gonna cut to the chase here: For an episode called "F*ck the Pain Away," there was way less, well, you know what-ing than expected on tonight's True Blood. I mean, unless you count Sookie and Warlow's unsuccessful couch session (which I don't) or Jason and Sarah's "righteous" rebound (which I REALLY don't). Tonight's episode SHOULD have been called something like "Vampire Hunger Games" or "Jessica Sure Is Irritating (But Sadly Still Alive)" or "Alcide, Why You Be Wearin' Dat Shirt?" or "50 Shades of Warlow" or "TOO MANY FLASHBACKS."
Or, better yet, "Lafayette Lives Out Our Wildest Fantasy & Tries to Drown Sookie!"
Oh, come on, don't tell me you never thought about it! Sookie is slightly less makeyawannaslapabeeyotch this season, but what the crap was she thinking, making Lafayette hold a seance for her sorry ass?? Cause we all know what happens when Lafayette hafta talk to the dead people: Sh*t get all messed up!
So Sook really only has herself to blame for the (what I'm assuming will end up being an attempted) drowning -- naturally Dysfunctional Daddy Dearest's ghost was going to possess poor Lafayette and try to make him finish the job he started back when Sookie was just a kid. (Which, did you guys see that one coming?? Warlow SAVED Sookie?? Or is he lying just to get in her pixie pants?)
Honestly, I almost don't care -- I'm just glad Lafayette finally got a decent amount of screen time tonight. I'm more concerned about the outcome of that uber-disturbing Eric vs. Pam Smackdown ... not Eric!! Not Pam!!! Can't Willa sacrifice her annoying self or something??
Oh, and PS? If Terry dies, I will be really, really sad.
Do you think Eric or Pam will die on next week's episode of True Blood?
Image via HBO