Everyone is super excited about Britney Spears' forthcoming album, the first one she's released since 2011. Spears is being pretty coy about its release date, but she's not being shy about trying to tease the great mystery of what this album is going to be. Without getting into too many details, it's her "most personal album yet," she told Ryan Seacrest, as well as "different" and "cool." That sounds very serious. Like she's going to go all Taylor Swift on us. She has enough material after all. Please no.
Then there's the Smurfs connection. Yes, Smurfs.
Those little blue guys. Her debut single "Ooh La La" is also on the Smurfs 2 soundtrack. It's a fun song, but it's also very clean: Take my hand, baby come with me, be my Oh la la. I hope an oh la la is some type of toxic guy she picked up at a club, because if it isn't, I fear this album is going to be seriously ... boring.
I know Britney is a mom and all, and that ride on the relationship rollercoaster over the past, oh, 10 or something years has got to be maturing for anyone. But this is Britney were talking about! We expect certain things from her as celebrity gossip fodder and also as a musical artist. And one of them is her edge. All that sexy talk. The odd m****r f****r thrown in once in a while. This Smurfs thing has us seriously worried.
Britney loved the Smurfs growing up. Her boys love the Smurfs now. Got it. She's a mom now and a lot more mature, has her kids on her mind. That's cool! We just hope she doesn't try to overlap both of her worlds too much. There's a time and place for being a mom, and up on a stage in a black dominatrix outfit is not one of them.
Perhaps I'm freaking out over nothing. "Personal" could mean a lot of different things, after all. It might not mean turning into Taylor Swift at all. Although, maybe just one song to explain what happened with Jason Trawick would be good. That was just weird.
What do you hope to hear from Britney Spears' upcoming album?
Image via iTunes