catelynn lowell tyler baltierraMove over, Dr. Drew! There's a new relationship expert in Teen Mom land -- none other than reality star-turned-porn star/professional famewhore Farrah Abraham. Even though she seems to think she's well beyond her MTV roots now that she's launched her desperate new "career" path, she's apparently not above judging her former co-stars and making holier-than-thou remarks about their post-Teen Mom lives.

Her latest target: Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra. Listen up, kids, because Farrah's gonna learn ya! She says the engaged couple "both need to mature up a bit before they do get married." Excuse me while I bust a gut guffawing.

Farrah, in all of her incredibly valuable wisdom, also volunteered:

If you are not married to somebody by a certain point of knowing them, you need to evaluate your relationship and probably just move on. ... Because they have a child together even though they are not parents, there is a little more at stake. If they do stay together, they need to continue making the right choices and having a five year plan.

What. The. Hell. I don't even ... This doesn't ... What is she even saying?! And more importantly: WHHHYYY?

I'm really trying to wrap my head around how this "desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua," as Charlie Sheen would put it, is being given the time of day. She's clearly out of control and has stepped into dangerous, delusional megalomaniac territory. I am almost positive she's directing this petulant behavior at Catelynn and Tyler because she's jealous of their continued, legit exposure thanks to Couples' Therapy. But if she wants to assert her opinion on anything, she should be limited to three topics: Porn, reality TV, and all the ways you can fail at attempting to become famous. Outside of that, no, please -- shut up.

I'll give her one thing: Yes, Catelynn and Tyler appear to have relationship troubles -- like every other couple in the world! GASP! They just happen to broadcast their highs and lows on TV -- and more power to them for being honest. That's more than Farrah has ever been able to say.

Do you wish Farrah would just shut up already? Why do you think she felt the need to comment on Catelynn and Tyler's relationship?


Image via VH1