farrah abraham charlie sheenGuess we could have seen this coming from miles away! Farrah Abraham and Charlie Sheen's brief flirtations have come to a screeching halt after the Backdoor Teen Mom leaked the texts, and Charlie FLIPPED OUT, most likely embarrassed that he comes across like a skeezemeister entertaining the idea of hooking up with the fame-hungry 22-year-old.

In an abosolutely scathing letter -- which somehow TMZ has acquired -- he calls her a "desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua" and basically lets her know what he thinks of her naked ambitions and their chances of sharing a future friendship (or more). And it's even crazier than you could imagine ...

Charlie's letter in its entirety ...

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I'm sure they'll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o'clock shadow.

bye!
cs.

HAAA. Okay, so the conspiracy theorist in me is convinced this could all be part of an elaborate ruse to get both of them in the headlines. I wouldn't put scripting something like this past either of them. But nah! Given Farrah's recent incredibly desperate moves to make herself into the next Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton, I'm not surprised that she was trying to cozy up to him or that she leaked the texts. And really, Charlie shouldn't have been surprised either!

Still, while they're both total losers, I think I've gotta go with Team Charlie on this one ... Granted, the guy is a total trainwreck himself, but OMG -- someone needed to call Farrah out on her blatant megalomania and desperation. She IS acting like such a desperate famewhore, and it's pathetic. Thus, perhaps it was only a matter of time before she was put in her place by someone just slightly higher on the totem pole of wackadoos in Hollywood. Let's just hope this incident serves to embarrass her instead of making her look anything remotely close to a total freakin' rock star from Mars.

In this match-up of the megalomaniacs, which are you: Team Farrah or Team Charlie?



Image via MTV & Joella Marano/Wikimedia