Poor Katy Perry. It must be a load of boo hoo to be a beautiful, buxom brunette singer who apparently has two of the world's hottest dudes lining up to be her date for the evening ... Rob Pattinson and John Mayer. Wait, what?! Yeah, rumor has it that Katy is comforting Rob after his breakup with Kristen "Bad Mood" Stewart. Aaaaaand rumor has it that Katy has reunited with John Mayer, her ex-boyfriend. Only this time, things are a little different with Katy and John. This time, John and Katy are -- the word that makes every woman's heart go pitter patter -- "casual."

More From Our Partners: The Truth About Katy Perry & Robert Pattinson's Relationship

Two sources spilled to E! News that John and Katy, who broke up months ago, are "back on" and having a "casual" relationship. Casual = having sex. FYI. Says a source:

They are just hanging out. They are not putting a label on it.

Hanging out = having sex.

Not putting a label on it = having sex.

So ... they're having sex, y'all! I mean, if rumors are correct.

Hey, the casual thing is a brilliant arrangement. You get all of the highs -- and none of the lows. You get the orgasm. But you don't have to help your partner bring a sick pet to the vet. You get the champagne dinners. But you don't have to take out the garbage. You get the hot tub make-out sessions. And you get them with other men/women. You get the giggles. You don't have to listen to 'em bitch.

Wouldn't it be great if all relationships were like this, all the time? The problem is they're NOT REAL. They're an illuuuuuusion. It's orgasms, champagne, and giggles for awhile and then it's "Why didn't you call?" "Who's text messaging you?" "Where is this going?" Blah blah blah.

Ah, human nature. Well, I wish Katy and John luck with their "casual" relationship. Often those end up being anything but casual. Unless by casual you mean casually annoying and complicated.

Anyway, I hope Rob isn't too miffed that John is getting a bit of Katy action. Doesn't sound too serious anyway. As for Kristen, this might be a bit of good news!

Have you ever had a casual relationship that didn't turn into a heaving hot mess?

 

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