The Real Housewives of Orange County started out tonight with one of the most insincere, unmoving make-ups ever seen. "Friendship Whisperer" Lydia McLaughlin orchestrated the meeting between Tamra Barney and Alexis Bellino after their last explosive encounter.
As Tamra proclaimed that she didn't want to be a mean girl anymore, Alexis wiped nonexistent tears from her face. It was about as moving as watching paint peel, and it solved exactly nothing. At least it makes room for Alexis to actually start interacting with the rest of the cast again though, which is good, because watching her and her husband Jim alone is just painful. Their big make-up wasn't enough, however, to earn Alexis an invite to Tamra's bachelorette party in Mexico.
Before the rest of the ladies left for the weekend, Gretchen had an interesting little meeting with prodigal Housewife Lauri Peterson. Like Gretchen's fairy godmother, she dropped a whole heap of ammunition against Vicki in her lap. She told her that Vicki has had multiple affairs over the years, including one with a toothless Greek man, and once she even saw her in bed with another woman and a man at an insurance convention. She's not sure they were having sex though.
True or not, I don't know. I have my doubts, as it seems that if it was true, someone would have talked by now. Also, it's clear that Lauri has it out for Vicki bad. She says Vicki spread some gossip about her husband's family, and it's time for her to pay. Or maybe she just needed to do something to be relevant on this season?
"I know a lot about Vicki," she told Gretchen. "I know where the bones are buried. She better watch out. There’s a lot that I know."
She was kind of scary. Of course, Gretchen sat there salivating, barely able to contain her glee at this new information, especially right before they headed off for the bachelorette party.
Once in Mexico, things started out at a restaurant of Heather Dubrow's choice, and it was the stuffiest, most inappropriate place for a bachelorette party you could imagine. Dinner was painful. "What's next, a yeast infection?" Tamra asked.
Meanwhile Vicki just wanted to whoop it up, and every whoop she gave had Gretchen jumping out of her skin with desire to spill all that she now thinks she knows. So when Vicki dragged Tamra and Lydia off to another bar while Gretchen and Heather were in the bathroom, she pretty much just dug her own grave. Not that it wasn't coming anyway, but this will certainly set things in motion sooner rather than later.
While they probably should have waited for Heather and Gretchen, at least Vicki got the party started. It started looking like a real bachelorette party ... though I'm frightened to see what the aftermath of it is going to look like next week. There may not be much whooping. Let's just hope there are no donkeys.
Do you think the things Lauri said about Vicki are true?
Image via Bravo