'Princesses: Long Island' Is a Train Wreck You Can't Stroll Away From

Oh. My. Gawd. Princesses: Long Island premiered last night on Bravo and I just have to tell you, I threw up a little in my mouth -- over and over again. That and oh ... I will probably watch again next week.

It's about six college-educated (clearly college means less than it did years ago) girls made out to look like a bunch of ignorant, spoiled brats. Whether or not they are like that in real life is anyone's guess, but they are painful to listen to (their accents are ridiculous) and they act like a bunch of clowns living in some alternate universe. The girls, I really can't call them women (nor do I think they would call themselves women), all live at home with their mommy and daddy (and one lives with just her mom) in massive mansions on Long Island in New York.

There is one relatively down-to-earth chick named Joey. The only one of the bunch that doesn't actually want to live with her parents. Of course she will end up being the villain -- because she appears to have a brain.

As for the others ... I was embarrassed for all of Long Island when they showed Ashlee drive through a part of town she called a "ghetto." I wanted to reach through the television and smack some sense into her. The scene seemed completely staged -- and the fact that she allowed herself to be filmed (and I am sure shot over and over again) talking about how she was uncomfortable and scared was pathetic.

But by far -- the best scene was with Jeff (who is the creepy 38-year-old boyfriend to 26-year-old Amanda) at a pool party at the plush estate of Erica's parents. Jeff was getting called out by another chick who claimed he used to stalk her on Facebook by "Poking" her all the time. No -- I am not joking. The scene was so ridiculous, it was priceless. And it created the best line of the show -- said by Jeff -- at 46 seconds into the clip below. "Take a stroll. Just take a stroll." Watch this train-wreck for yourself ...

Take a stroll ... it's the new go-to line in our house. You see, in the name of research (for work, of course), I watched Princesses with my husband (age 40), my brother-in-law (age 18), and my father (only slightly older than the dads on this show), and I wish I recorded their reactions -- because that would have been more entertaining than the show. They were covering their eyes, throwing their hands up in disgust, and made me promise I would never make them watch it again. It was just all so cringe-worthy ... and kind-of sad. 

Why people want this kind of fame, I will never understand. But as a viewer -- it is just so hard to turn away from the insanity. I guess that's why we watch Teen Mom and fawn over The Kardashians, right?

But on a personal level ... this show is just an embarrassment. I grew up in Queens -- which is a stone's throw from where this reality show takes place. As a teen I swore I would never move to Long Island because my impression was something similar to what these women portray. But the reality is -- these women are not Long Island. These women are 1 percent of the 1 percent -- and they live all over the country.

All I have to say is ... take a stroll.

Did you watch? Will you watch again?

Image and video via Bravo

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Jennifer Row McCaughey

Watching this show, I had no problem figuring out why these chicks have never gotten married, lol.

nonmember avatar Joy

It is clear to me that Andy Cohen is a world class misogonyst. I hope you enjoy the money Andy,you are without a shred of integrity

Jennifer C Call

I couldn't watch. I lasted about ten minutes. A bunch of ignorant, stupid morons. No thanks.

Katherine Woodcheke Biggens

I too, couldn't tear myself away. Yet I agree that this small percentage of ignoramuses give the rest of the hard working intelligent people on LI a bad rep. Back in my day, the princesses of LI had another name, but were categorized by the rich daddy, specific clothing, nails, car, nameplate necklace, big hair and overdone makeup....wait, seems like nothing has changed. Hahaa.

Martine Benoit

Scary Ashley , I am one of the people that lives in the place that you refer to as the ghetto, I want you to know that i worked very hard to get where I am and i am quite sure that i am more educated than you are. please stop scaring the viewers, you need to use your wealth wisely, stop looking so scary otherwise we will have to refer to you as scary ashes

Arlene Diaz

I watched in awe...could not believe that these "princesses" could be so immature at their age...Guess that's what happens when you never go out on your own and study at the School of Hard Knocks...SMDH....

Lynette Kolhmeyer

Of course....there is drama already so I can't wait to see how juicy it gets!!!!

nonmember avatar jahncie

Ok so Jeff is super creepy and real weird...also didn't it sound like, when they were bathing suit shopping that he was tryin real hard? I mean he sounds like the stereotypical gay guy in the movies that the writers try to make him sound straight...it was just ridic and i couldn't stop laughing

nonmember avatar Toni

I love Andy Cohen and Bravo, but I think they missed the mark with this show. It's just horrible. There is nothing interesting, intriguing or dramatic about it. These girls are just awful and act like big spoiled babies. They are trying to portray themselves as being classy and living the life of the rich and famous, but their homes are horrible and they have the nerve to pass judgment on where other people live and call it the ghetto! Jeff is such a creep and is clearly gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. lol

Autumn Bryant

I agree completely with jahncie and Toni's comments about Jeff!

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