Jontathan BacheloretteNone of us really had high hopes for her season in the first place, but holy freakin' cow -- after watching The Bachelorette premiere last night, we should probably be a little fearful for Desiree Hartsock's life.

Um, are the 25 guys ABC cast to date her the worst 25 dudes in the history of any Bachelorette season or what? While watching last night, I kept waiting and waiting for Prince Charming to get out of one of the limousines and sweep me Des off her feet.

But aside from Ben, a.k.a. the most adorable single dad EVER -- none of these men piqued my interest at all. In fact, most of them flat-out scared the crap out of me.

And while they were all pretty bad, these six definitely win the award for the most awkward, freaky, ridiculous, terrifying potential suitors who have ever entered the Bachelorette mansion.

  1. Hashtag Man -- Ok, so it's trendy and current that Kasey works in social media. But to tell Des not only that he's "seen some amazing hashtags" about her, but that he's also made up a few for her as well? Yeah, that's just strange.
  2. Fantasy Suite Stalker -- What. The. Heck. You'd think when she turned him down the first time he asked, Jonathan would've waited another week or two to invite Des to the fantasy suite again. I don't blame her for kicking him to the curb before the rose ceremony -- he was creepy as hell. (But are you really buying her "I'm not that kind of girl" excuse? Me neither.)
  3. Magic Man -- Um, magicians are fun. At kids' birthday parties. Bye-bye Nick. The end.
  4. Knight in Shining Armor -- OMG. This poor dude tried and failed miserably. Maybe Diogo was simply trying to deal with the language barrier or something? I felt kinda sorry for him. Maybe he should've brought his jaguar with him. (Oh no, wait -- that's Diego.)
  5. Dorky Dentist -- Ugh. What was up with Mike's hair? (I think he truly believes he's the long lost member of 98 Degrees.)
  6. Dr. Two Left Feet -- Wow. What can I say about Larry the E.R. doctor? Guess it's a good thing Des sent him packing when she did -- because he certainly doesn't have a future on Dancing With the Stars.

Man. Poor Des definitely has slim pickin's this season. But with any luck, maybe there's a diamond in the rough somewhere in the group who hasn't made his presence known as of yet. If not, she's really in for a bumpy ride.

Are there any guys who really stand out to you?

 

Image via ABC