'Bachelorette' Premiere Recap: Desiree Hartsock's Search for Mr. Right Is Already Over

Desiree HartsockHuh. She may have left in the limo in tears when Bachelor Sean Lowe sent her packing -- but Desiree Hartsock seems to be totally fine with the consolation prize of being The Bachelorette for season 9.

Um, girl got herself a brand new pad in Malibu complete with sweeping views and a pool. And did I mention ABC also threw in a sexy Bentley for her to cruise around in while she's "weeding out the men from the boys" in her group of 25 suitors? Sheesh.

But let's go ahead and cut to the chase -- this season is already over. Or at least it should be. All contracts, ratings, and viewer entertainment aside, it's clear that Des should've gone ahead and quit the show before the last dude stepped out of the limo tonight.


Duh. Who else thinks she missed the chance of a lifetime by not riding off into the sunset with Ben and forgetting about being The Bachelorette altogether?

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You know -- Ben. The hot guy from Dallas who immediately introduced her to his son, Brody -- who he described as "his everything." (It's ok. I had impure thoughts about that man at that point in the show too. What woman with a pulse didn't?)

And if Ben having a kid (who happens to be his whole world) isn't appealing enough -- he had to go into the whole bit about being best friends with his son's mom. Holy shiz. Not only is he a great dad -- he brings an adorable kid into the mix without any sort of baggage. (Not even a carry-on, for crying out loud.) Score.

Ok, let's forget about Ben for a sec (not really, but sort of) -- the rest of these dudes are complete zeros. Seriously, I'm trying as hard as I can to put my snarky side on the back burner here, but these guys leave a lot to be desired. I can't decide who's worse -- the guy who asked Des to go to the fantasy suite in the same breath as telling her his name, the magician who could've accidentally lit her on fire, or the guy who almost ripped her dress off by trying to dance with her.

And don't even get me started on the guy who told her he'd "seen lots of awesome hashtags about her." (WTF?)

Holy cow. These dudes really suck. Except for Ben. And if Ben isn't the man of Des's dreams, then maybe she isn't ready to find "the one" at this point in her life. If she knows what's good with her, she'll run away with him now and forget that she's obligated to stay for the full course of the reality show she signed up for. (Yes, I realize the entire show has already been filmed. Just go with it.)

And I'd like to go ahead and make a prediction. If Des doesn't choose Ben, let's go ahead and expect him to land the gig of being the next Bachelor. (Hell, there are probably already gals sending their applications in with the hopes of being his bride.)

Who is your favorite guy so far?


Image via ABC

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