5 Reasons Why Being Lindsay Lohan's Assistant Is the Worst Job Ever

lindsay lohanHaving a bad week at work? Having a bad month at work? Is your favorite song "Take This Job and Shove It"? Just remember, it could always be worse: You could be Lindsay Lohan's personal assistant. (As in, Lindsay Lohan could be your boss.) Just ask Gavin Doyle, who had the questionable fortune of being LiLo's right-hand man during the lowest phases of her protracted downward spiral. Somehow the dude escaped with his sanity and is now writing a tell-all book about his experience (come on, wouldn't you?!), and WHOA, get ready to appreciate whatever it is you do for a living.

Need the dirty details? Here are 5 reasons why working for Lindsay Lohan is a nightmare:

Dragging her out of bed in the morning is YOUR responsibility.

How exactly does one wake up the girl who used "exhaustion" as an excuse for getting out of everything from work to court? Apparently with eggs, bagels, loud music, and bright lights at the crack of dawn. Am I still at the club? Who brought breakfast? I need more Ambien!

You have to go places with her IN A CAR.

And if she crashes it and you get hurt, she's still gonna say YOU were driving.

The paparazzi follow you everywhere even when you're all by your damn self!

The only way to distract them is by yelling, Hey look! Amanda Bynes!

All you ever do is fill goddamn prescriptions.

Will you be able to carry all of these out to the car yourself, sir, or will you be needing assistance?

You have arguments with porn stars.

Particularly the ones co-starring with LiLo in The Canyons who want to shoot the foursome scene early in the day. (Lindsay just isn't comfortable shooting foursome scenes until late afternoon.)

What do you think the worst thing about being Lindsay Lohan's assistant would be?


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