desiree hartsockI take it back. I TAKE IT ALL BACK. I wanted Desiree Hartsock to be the season 9 Bachelorette because she's quirky and kind of awkward and super down to earth (she lived in a tent as a kid!), and now I'm paying the price. ABC's just released a rap video that she and some of her 25 suitors made during the first group date, and guys? It's the whitest thing you've ever seen. I mean, it starts with Des "Elaine" dancing in the driveway.

I was no fan of runner-up Lindsay Yenter, but I'm pretty sure she would've smoked this rap video. At the very least, she would've gotten day drunk first. I can't fault Des for not being able to spit rhymes, but I can fault her for being too sober. A video vixen she is not.

And I feel partly responsible for her flop here. I pushed for her awkwardness, and now look what's happened. She's lumbering around pretending to rap about the "right reasons" all while wearing a Snooki-like clip-in hair poof on the crown of her heard.

On the other hand, the guys look pretty fun, especially the one who dresses up as Jason Mesnick's son. I think it's 30-year-old plumbing contractor with a love of teal deep Vs, Mikey T., who takes on the controversial role.

Because just when you thought the series couldn't get any more heartless, they go and take a swing at an innocent child. Thanks, ABC! Keep it classy.

Watch this video, then tell me: Is Des's season going to be too awkward to watch?! Should they have gone with Lindsay??

 

Photo via predatorA/YouTube