jill zarinAre you sitting? Jill Zarin almost died, you guys. Died. A "source" told Naughty but Nice Rob that the former Real Housewives of New York cast member was kayaking in the Hamptons over the weekend and got caught in a current. The "source" continued that Jill was in such peril that she had to fight for her life. When Jill was asked to comment, she confirmed the story, but refused to give any more details, seeing as she just got through telling the story, because she's obviously the "source."

Here's what "a friend of Jill's" said:

While Kayaking in the Hampton’s, Jill found herself caught in a very strong current and started to panic. Thankfully she managed to calm down and stop fighting the current allowing it to bring her back towards the shore. It was terrifying, she had to fight for her life.

What friend calls up a gossip blogger and is like, OMG, Jill Zarin went kayaking this weekend and, you'll never guess, but everything turned out FINE. I mean, what kind of story is this?! Clearly Jill's the one doing the talking. Also, if the friend witnessed it (someone had to take this picture!), why didn't they call 911 for help or something? Why would they leave that part out of the story?

So, safely assuming Ms. Zarin's behind the leak, I think we can also infer that she's trying to send a thinly-veiled, very passive-aggressive message to Bravo and to the other Housewives that she was in tough water, you guys, but decided to go with the flow, and she's totally better for it.

I bet she thinks she's being so coy.

I may be giving Jill too much credit here, thinking she'd be capable of using the press to spread her metaphor, but I'm apt to believe this woman will stop at nothing to get her name in the news.

Can't wait to see what ridiculous stunt she pulls next. I mean, now that the RHONY are set to begin filming, I'm sure Zarin's plotting all kinds of reasons to get attention. Perhaps a pregnancy is in order?

A "life-threatening" pregnancy, of course.

What do you think of Jill's "near-death" experience?

 

Photo via bravotv.com