Selena Gomez 'Can't Help Dating' Justin Bieber

Justin BieberIt seemed for awhile there that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were never ever EVER getting back together. Selena gleefully told David Letterman that she had made Justin "cry" and seemed ecstatic about the fact that she was single. Yeah, a little too ecstatic, I agree. But then strange things began happening -- we saw that Justin had a Selena screen grab on his cellphone and he tweeted a pic of the two of them together and, well, suddenly millions of 12-year-olds went into a deep depression. So Justin and Selena are back together -- at least for the time being. And Selena had some rather interesting things to say about her boyfriend in a new interview.

More From Our Partners: Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Will "Love" Her Song About Their Break-Up

In the latest issue of InStyle, Selena seems to have given the interview right before their reunion -- or perhaps she wasn't quite ready to fess up to that yet. But she said:

You can’t help who you date. So I wouldn’t swear off that or say that's what I want again. I don’t know. I’m a kid, and a breakup is normal. I have to go through the emotions and feel it out. I’m doing my own thing, being with my friends, and he’s doing very well too.

This is textbook celebrity breakupspeak -- Ohh, I'm doing great, he's doing great, we're all doing great, it's GREAT, okay?!!! -- except for that part about "You can't help who you date."

This seems like a Freudian slip on Selena's part. Because of course you CAN help who you date. You are perfectly able to pick and choose who you date unless someone is forcing you to date him under duress. Which I doubt is the case with Biebs -- though he's certainly trying to look scary these days.

So maybe what Selena meant was you can't help who you love. Which is certainly more true than you can't help who you date. It's true that being in love with someone is sometimes an unwelcome feeling -- you just can't seem to help it. Intellectually you might know this person isn't good for you, but your heart sings when you see him anyway.

But you can and should help who you get into a relationship with. The reality is that your heart can be wrong. Horribly wrong. The idea that you should always follow your heart is just stupid. Following your heart straight into the dark tunnel of dysfunctional and toxic love can mean terrible repercussions. Look at Jodi Arias. She was probably following her heart when she couldn't get Travis Alexander out of her system. Where did that lead? Look at Rihanna and Chris Brown. Okay, let's not. 

I'm not saying ignore your heart. It can and does tell you things you should listen to. But if your heart is singing for someone -- and then breaking -- and then hardening -- and then singing again, but this time with a croak -- consult your head. And listen to it.

Do you think you can help who you love/date?


Image via Justin Bieber/Instagram

breakups, celeb couples, justin bieber

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nonmember avatar Jen

Very excellent advice. I was addicted to a toxic relationship and I had to move on for my own sanity and mental health. But 8 months on, I still get melancholy sometimes, I still feel jealous of his new relationship, even though I'm happier now in my own. Does it ever get easier? Addiction is very hard to overcome but necessary.

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