Lindsay Lohan sat down for a no-holds-barred interview with Piers Morgan and it really gives quite a glimpse into LiLo's mind. Which is a weird place to be, let me tell you. For one, despite being ordered into rehab like a gazillion times, Lindsay doesn't think she needs it. She also says that she hardly drinks, has only tried drugs a handful of times, and that instead of being sent to rehab or prison, she should go to a foreign country to help children. Err, yeah. I don't think parents in Africa want to deal with Lindsay either. Here are six highlights from Lindsay's explosive interview.

1. Lindsay like totally doesn't need rehab, okay?

Despite admitting she "went off the rails" in her teens when she moved to Los Angeles, and that her mother made her sleep in her own drunk vomit at 17, and that she was first arrested for a DUI at 20, Lindsay does NOT have a drinking problem. At least according to Lindsay. She says: "I’ve never been a huge drinker. I’ve never woken up in the morning and had a drink."

2. Lindsay totally doesn't do drugs, okay? Except, you know, sometimes.

Asked about her drug usage, Lindsay downplays it big time. Sure, she's done cocaine. Sure, she's done Ecstasy. Sure, she takes prescription meds. Sure, she smokes pot. But that doesn't mean she has a problem! She says: "I’ve never been a junkie, and never will be. I just like going out late to clubs with friends and listening to music."

3. Lindsay's problems obviously started with her father, Michael.

Michael Lohan seems to have planted the seeds of dysfunction in his daughter. She slags him off quite a bit in the interview, despite reportedly relying heavily on his counsel during her recent rehab drama. She says she once caught him sleeping with another woman when he was still married to her mother. He constantly creates "chaos" around her. And his worst betrayal? "The one thing that upset me the most when it happened was when he recorded me telling him about an argument I had with Mum ... And then he recorded me talking about it, and gave it to the media ... It broke my heart," says Lindsay. Boo, Michael, you're a jerk.

4. Rehab is just like a boring spa.

Lindsay not only seems to think she doesn't need rehab, but when she is there, she treats it sort of like a spa. One rehab she used to "get some sleep" and talk about a "traumatizing" movie she was making. She says: "Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab it was like a joke, like killing time."

5. She's not gay.

Despite her long-term relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay likes dudes. "I like boys," she says. Okay then.

6. Lindsay should be working with children. (??!!)

Lindsay says that far from being locked away in rehab, she should really be working with poor kids. "The best thing they could  do for me would be to make me go abroad to different countries and work with children," she tells Piers. Few people know this, but Lindsay actually did go to India to help children who were victims of sex trafficking. So perhaps she's the next Angelina Jolie. She just needs to stop stealing, partying, crashing cars, lying, and ... well, everything.

Do you think Lindsay is in denial?

 


Image via Piers Morgan