kate middletonAccording to a story in England's ever-so-posh Tatler magazine, Carole Middleton was one of those "perfect" mothers. You know the kind? Children always immaculately dressed, everything labeled just so. In fact, from the sound of it, Carole pretty much raised Kate Middleton to be a princess. Oh -- and I guess the rest of the Middleton sibs were just as gloriously well brought-up.

This is according to the mother of another girl who was in the same house as Kate while the Middleton girls were at Marlborough College, a posh boarding school. But the Middletons would not be the "middle" family at this school. Oh no. Carole had grander things in mind for her brood. Here's how the exceedingly envious (and anonymous) mother describes them.

There was always something slightly galling about having your child at school with the Middletons. Every pristine item of their clothing would have a beautifully sewn-in name tape, for instance. There were huge picnics at sports day; the smartest tennis rackets, that kind of thing. It made other families feel rather hopeless.

Pristine clothing! Sewn-in name tags! Fancy tennis rackets! Can you BELIEVE??? Why it's simply galling. How dare they try and keep their shit together while the rest of us are busy drinking Pimm's at horse matches? Doesn't she get the concept of boarding school -- it's so you can be LESS involved with your children's lives!

Well, all I can say is, no wonder one of those Middletons turned out to marry a prince. In all seriousness, I think Carole's efforts made Kate a fitting catch for Prince William. And why not? You're sending your kids to a super posh school filled with royals, you might as well try and keep up appearances.

I mean, isn't keeping up appearances a national pastime in England? Oh wait -- no, keeping up appearances while appearing not to be keeping up appearances is the national pastime in England.

Anyway, well done there, Carole. Your fastidious appearance-keeping-up-ness landed you a chair at the Palace table. Think William was just going to marry the sexiest babe he could find, anywhere? That it was just an accident that he stumbled upon Kate? Think the royal family leaves these things up to flaky concepts like chemistry and good times?!? Hell no. He was going to marry the kind of presentable young lady the whole royal family (and country) would find suitable. And that must have been on Carole's mind when she sent her daughters to Marlborough.

Do you think Kate's pristine life as a teen prepped her as a more attractive match for Prince William?

 

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