I feel sorry for Rob Kardashian much like I would an old cat who's fallen in the bathtub, or one of those vocally-handicapped, if not otherwise, American Idol contestants who are shocked when their horrifying screeching isn't enough to put them through to Hollywood. Rob's latest and perhaps most pitiful moment in the sun comes in the form of an interview he gave to Ryan Seacrest in which he admits that he cries in the shower because his penis looks so small.
Nope! Not a joke, this actually happened. Rob told Ryan:
“Every time I hop in the shower and see myself naked, I cry, because my penis looks so small now.”
Jesus, Rob. Put a lid on it.
Apparently his weight gain and enhanced mid-section are making his manhood appear smaller. There is a silver lining, though. Rob notes that for every 10 pounds he loses, his penis gains an extra inch.
I have no idea what is keeping Kris Jenner so busy, but she's got a job to do as Rob's momager and she needs to let him know that this kind of candid talk isn't going to win him any fans. It's just sad. People want sad, but not this sad. Poor guy. I want to reach out and help him, but my arms are just too cringy right now to move.
What do you think of Rob's konfession?