rhonjThe first trailer for The Real Housewives of New Jersey was just released, and while it doesn't show Caroline Manzo tearing off Teresa Giudice's face, it does show Kathy Wakile watering a plant. Sounds boring, I know, but it isn't. The 30-second promo teases a lot about the upcoming season 5 -- there are more allusions and foreshadowing in this clip than in Shakespeare's entire catalogue. That, and way more low-cut satin dresses.

Let's dissect. So Melissa is burying something ... is it the hatchet between her and Teresa? Is it a body of an IRS agent? Or maybe she isn't burying something at all ... maybe she's digging up dirt on someone. Is Melissa getting to reveal that Teresa has a past as a stripper slash serial killer? Or that Joe Giudice is actually an elf?

Jacqueline's also got her hands in the dirt, planting a seed. A seed of what? Destruction? Jealousy? Hopefulness?

As for Teresa, she carved T+J in a tree. Is the "J" for her husband, Joe, or her best friend turned enemy, Jacqueline? Or maybe the "J" is for jail, or Giudice, because Teresa doesn't know how to spell her own last name.

And for whatever reason, Caroline's pissed at that tree. She gives it the same scowl of self-righteous disapproval that she gives everything.

Let's not forget about Kathy, although it's very easy to. She's watering a plant because "family is a force of nature" and Kathy's gotta keep the whole thing alive lest it shrivel up and die like one of the Manzo son's businesses.

Between this trailer and the news that there's already been a major brawl in which a sink was thrown at someone, I can't wait for season 5 -- it starts June 2.

What are your deep thoughts regarding the trailer?

 

Photo via bravotv.com