Already we're into the third episode of the third season of Game of Thrones, based off of the novel A Storm of Swords, and "Walk of Punishment" certainly doesn't disappoint. Things don't look all that great so far for Jaime Lannister & Brienne, who are taken captive, as well as Arya Stark, whose identity is revealed at an inn by a recently captured Hound. And we didn't see Daenerys or her dragons at all last week, which should be remedied tonight.
But we were introduced to the amazingly hilarious Lady Olenna and watched how her granddaughter Margaery seemingly has the hated King Joffrey wrapped around her finger.
Lots going on and the momentum is building up for sure. SPOILERS ahead for those of you who haven't seen "Walk of Punishment." You have been warned!
At a meeting with Tywin, his son Tyrion and daughter Cersei, Petyr Baelish, Pycelle, and Varys (what an entourage!) (and all the chair dragging/power play was quite funny), it's revealed Baelish and Lysa Arryn, Catelyn Stark's sister, are going to marry (the Vale of Arryn has been neutral and they'd win its allegiance without violence -- if you recall, Lysa was the one creepily breastfeeding her son), and then Tyrion gets the news that he gets to take over Baelish's old job as Master of Coin.
Tyrion is very disheartened by this demotion, yet that doesn't stop him from rewarding his squire, Podrick Payne, for saving his life during the Battle of the Blackwater. Tyrion, being Tyrion, rewards him with whores. After what I assume was the night of young Podrick's life, he returns the next morning and reveals that he didn't have to pay the whores. Bronn and Tyrion, in complete disbelief, sit him down to drill him on what exactly he did that gave the whores so much pleasure that they'd refuse the gold. Go Podrick! Call me maybe?
Meanwhile, Mance Rayder, Jon Snow, and company visit the Fist of the First Men, where they encounter dead horses strategically placed in a large spiral shape. After seeing this, Mance makes the decision to send a group to climb the Wall. The Watch meanwhile regroups at Craster's Keep; Craster really does have the most disturbing laugh ever, and he fat-shames Sam, encourages incest, and sacrifices baby boys. What a standup dude.
Switching things up a bit, Daenerys decides to buy 8,000 Unsullied. Kudos to the (gorgeous) translator for filtering the seller's disgusting commentary. But then Daenerys tells him she'd give away one of her dragons to buy the army. WTF?! Really?? Didn't she say they were like children to her? And the largest one? I thought that one was her favorite. Way to sell your children off like that, Mother of Dragons -- let's hope she has something up her sleeve.
On another note, I don't have the time to delve into too many book vs. show comparisons, but we barely hear about Theon Greyjoy in A Storm of Swords, so I'm not entirely sure why we're spending so much time with his storyline. After Theon is released and then barely escapes getting raped in the woods (and who is this guy who keeps saving him?!), in a kind of twisted parallel, Jaime warns Brienne out of concern that their captors are going to rape her when night falls, probably the ultimate punishment and horror for a woman like her.
They drag her into the darkness while we hear her devastating screams, yet Jaime is able to convince the captors to stop. Told you that Jaime and Brienne make the best odd couple on TV.
Still, once we get to liking him and begrudgingly respecting him, he is rewarded with a terrible punishment. I was awaiting to see if they'd pull this iconic moment off after reading A Storm of Swords, and they did! They did it! They cut his sword hand off!! The split-second it takes for him to process what was going on and start yelling was exactly how I felt watching -- holy shit, did they really just do that?!
Can you believe they went through with cutting off Jaime's sword hand?
Image via HBO