Lindsay Lohan's Rehab Stay Will Be a Failure, According to Dear Old Dad

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Lindsay LohanIt's been pretty hard to sympathize with Lindsay Lohan recently -- and by "recently" I mean "over the last several years." But when I watched her on David Letterman the other night, I felt a little hopeful for her. Although her strangely taut face and increasingly froggy voice makes it seem like she's morphing into Joan Rivers, I thought Lohan came across as surprisingly lucid and self-aware. When she joked that she was hoping her water glass had vodka in it, I kind of wanted to give her a hug.

She seemed earnest about her upcoming rehab stint, but I suppose it's hard for most people to take her seriously when she says she's "looking forward to actually just taking time for me." However, you'd think her own father would manage to at least FAKE a sense of belief in his daughter's ability to turn her life around.

Of course, we're talking about Michael Lohan here, so … yeah, not so much.

As part of her recent plea deal for lying to cops last June, Lohan's been sentenced with three months of locked rehab starting next month. She told Letterman that she views the upcoming stint as "a blessing," and she did her best to shut him down when he tried to joke about it.

Despite her apparent sincerity about rehab, plenty of folks seem to be rooting for her to fail. TMZ found a liquor store a quarter mile from her treatment facility and managed to get the owner to give a statement about how he'd sell booze to Lindsay if she came in (what's he gonna say, that he'd call the cops or something?). And Lindsay's own dad told TMZ that his daughter is struggling with pills and cocaine, and that he isn't at all confident that she'll succeed with this court-ordered treatment:

I'm praying to God she will. Honestly, I hope so but I don't think so.

He's always such a classy guy, isn't he? Naturally, he didn't stop there -- he also bashed her decision to attend the Coachella music festival:

I think it's probably one of the worst ideas she could've ever, ever had. I really think it's not a good thing. She's around — what did the court say: stay away from people or places where there might be drugs or alcohol.

Man, I can't imagine what it's like for her to have the kind of parents she does. They're both the worst sort of tabloid-blabbing famewhores, but while her mother seems to be in eternal denial over Lindsay's problems, her dad never misses an opportunity to throw his daughter under a bus.

Not that it's breaking news that Lindsay's past doesn't particularly lead to great odds on this upcoming rehab stay, but come on. Michael Lohan should keep his goddamned trap shut, and do what he can behind the scenes to actually support his kid. That doesn't lead to press opportunities, though, so I doubt it'll ever happen.

What do you think about Michael Lohan's statement that he doesn't think Lindsay's rehab stint will be successful? Do you think he's just saying what everyone's thinking?

Image via Dimension Films

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