It's physically tough to write about Teen Mom Farrah Abraham because the news about her is just so cringe-worthy that my fingers cramp up and my eyes slam shut. I'm typing this right now with my nose, because after hearing that Farrah's been offered only $100,000 for her sex video that she'd hoped would sell for $2 million is just so embarrassing, my whole body is writhing with sympathy humiliation pains.
A Canadian porn distributor, which sounds doubly as skeezy as an American one because the supposed mustaches of the producers are likely double the size in the Great White North, has allegedly offered the MTV-lebrity roughly 5 percent of what she thought her porno with James Deen would fetch. OUCH.
BangYouLater.com, the name of this Canadian porn palace, has sent Farrah an offer letter in which they tell her she can be a "bigger star than Kim Kardashian", then go on to say that Farrah should get in touch with them so they can discuss what her video's really worth, which is to say, not that fucking much.
You know, I really hope this low-ball offer gives Farrah the perspective she needs. Maybe this embarrassment will encourage her to step out of the spotlight for a while, to maybe, you know, focus on being a parent, then in a few months, she can sell an exclusive interview or pitch a book deal about her porn past and make money that way. It's the sane thing to do.
Unfortunately, I doubt Farrah has the self-awareness to realize she's making an enormous fool of herself (and as a result, her daughter) and she'll continue down this sordid path of having sex on camera for money.
Word is she's already talking about starring in an adult film with Angelica Lane ... maybe Farrah thinks that if no one wants to see her do it with a dude, perhaps doing it with a woman could give her the payday she "deserves."
I need 10 Advil and a massage -- I'm cringing so hard, my hip just popped out of place.
What do you think?
Photo via farrahabrahamofficial/Instagram