In what is probably no more than a last-ditch effort to stay on the map and squeeze all she can out of her reality TV fame, Bachelor winner Courtney Robertson admits loving Ben Flajnik -- at least for a short period of time.
I know, I know -- not too long ago she insisted that she was brainwashed into falling for Ben and that their whole relationship was an illusion, yada, yada, yada.
But now she's retracting her story a bit and told Wetpaint, "You know, I really was in love with him, deeply at one point. There was a small chapter where it was good, and I kind of held on to that. And I also, just the whole thing, I wanted it to work. I wanted to get married and start a family, but at the end of the day, it just wasn’t right."
Ahh. Finally, we (maybe) have the truth about what really happened with those two, and it's as simple as this. Courtney tried to talk herself into being in love with Ben -- but eventually she just couldn't fake it anymore.
(That's what her explanation sounds like to me. Or maybe she was tricked into falling for him. I'm confused.)
But if she's telling the truth with the new story, boy, oh boy, can I relate.
Right before I met my husband, I was shacking up with dating a dude I had every intention of marrying one day -- even though deep down in my gut I knew the relationship wasn't right. Here's the short version of the story. We met at a bar, had our first date a few days later, and a month after that, we were living together and already talking about marriage. (I was so stupid in my younger days.)
And even though I thought I was in love with him at the beginning, I think I was in love with the idea of being in love and getting married -- which had nothing to do with him. But I wanted my fairy tale so badly, I convinced myself that he was "the one," even though in my heart, I knew he most definitely wasn't.
Eventually I wised up and mustered up the courage to end things. I moved on, met my husband, got hitched, had a kid, and now we're living happily ever after (or at least I think we are).
But looking back on that relationship, I can completely understand why I tried so hard to make myself believe things would work out. When you're young and all of your friends are settling down with the right guy, you naturally want to find him too. And that's why you try and convince yourself that every dude you meet is "THE guy," even if he doesn't even come close to being what you really want.
I'm no love expert, but it sounds to me like that's exactly what happened with Courtney and Ben. Lucky for her, she figured it out before they actually tied the knot. And maybe the next time the wrong Mr. Right shows up, she'll recognize him immediately instead of falling into the fake love trap -- even if he does come with a reality TV show and a winery.
Have you ever tried to convince yourself that you were in love?
Image via ABC