Famed DIYer and insider trader Martha Stewart has admitted she has the hots for Ryan Gosling, proving once and for all that the desire to suck face with the former Mouseketeer is something every man, woman, and potted plant is born with. It hasn't always been this way, but evolution has taken hold, and this is simply where we're at.
Now, Ryan can clearly have his pick of any person in the world (and he's already picked -- boo!), but wouldn't it be fun if Ryan and Martha got together? I think he actually might become even hotter. And whomever he dates afterwards would be one lucky f-- duck.
-Ryan would start decoupaging old bank boxes and use them to store "Etc." craft supplies. His Modge Podge; his contour rotary cutter; the bag of beads he got from Michaels but didn't quite finish. And when you ask him if he's seen the neon pink pom-poms you got last year, he'd tell you that not only has he seen them, he put them in the "Pom-Pom Box".
-Ryan would stay up until 3:30 organizing his Pinterest boards, all the while wondering why he hadn't thought to create an origami board sooner (and laughing at the fact that he's now changed his "Wrapping Paper Ideas" board to "Wrap Star." Jokester.).
-Ryan would unveil an ebelskiver platter, complete with a "toppings bar", for you when you woke up. And when you ask what apron he's wearing, he'd tell you that it's just the old white one. Only he's tea-stained it. And he made one for you, too.
-Ryan would tell you he's taking the pile of old clothes you don't want to Goodwill, but really he'd surprise you by cutting up a bunch of ratty t-shirts and sewing them into chevron pillowcases. And he'd buy new clothes to drop off at Goodwill.
-Ryan would surprise you with "new" dining room chairs, and when you asked him where they came from, he'd tell you your house. He repurposed the old ones using a can of no-VOC paint and a Moroccan wedding blanket he picked up at a garage sale.
What would you like to see Ryan Gosling do?
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