kristen steawart robert pattinson
Rob looking thrilled, obvs
So, Robert Pattinson flew back into town, got back together with Kristen Stewart, had a sweet night on the town with karaoke, and they are sooo back together again, right? Pthh. WRONG! I'm not buying this fairy tale. All that cuddling we're hearing about? It's an act, I say. Just an act.

Let's look closely at those eyewitness details on their night on the town. They hung out together at a bar, ordering shots and "stealing kisses" while they watched karaoke performance. Us Weekly got an onlooker to dish on Kristen and Rob's reunion date, and it sounds pretty good ...

When they were ordering drinks at the bar she was grabbing his jacket and being flirty. They were just acting cute and cuddly like they had missed each other.

But wait, she was grabbing his jacket and being flirty. What was he doing? A witness tells Wet Paint, "He seemed to be a little shy." The witness also described it as a "mellow night, they were just hanging out with friends." Hm.

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Now let's look at this photo. Who looks the happiest? That's right, the fan. Kristen is flashing the peace sign but her eyes look dead. Rob looks tired and isn't even smiling. Hello, celeb kabuki theater!

Here's what I think is really going on. I mean, first of all, they're ACT! ORS! If Rob were really so excited about reuniting with Kristen, they would have enjoyed an intimate evening alone together, in privacy, having sex in about 30 different positions. But instead, they're out in public making a display of their alleged togetherness -- with friends! Not even alone with each other. Those two have already broken up, people. And Rob can hardly stand to play along.

But since she's already played the "bad guy" in this relationship and they're trying to rehabilitate her image, the official story is going to be that he broke up with her, and broke her heart. (Instasympathy™) Kristen's career is saved! They both move on with their lives! And so do we.

Do you think this date was all for show, or do you think Kristen and Robert are really, truly back together?

 

Image via Instagram