ellen page alexander skarsgardWelcome to the worst day of your life. Rumors have been swirling for some time now that True Blood actor/proof the world isn't all bad Alexander Skarsgard and Juno/Inception actress Ellen Page are an "item," but sh*t just got really real: The couple was spotted arriving at Los Angeles International Airport (returning home after the premiere of their film, The East, at SXSW), and Skarsgard was apparently carrying Page's suitcase. Lugging around the girl's luggage, for Pete's sake! Does Alexander Skarsgard not realize he's a Viking god amongst men?!

Okay, fine -- actually, I'm not surprised to hear about Skarsgard doing something so sweet and chivalrous (see above comment regarding "god amongst men"). But I am, however, DEVASTATED to hear about Skarsgard and Page being all couple-y in public. Let an international day of mourning be declared!!

No, I'm not being overdramatic. Nor is this a case of so-called sour grapes. See, I'm not even gonna pretend to be happy for these two because the relationship is a full-on BAD IDEA. Why?

  • First of all, Ellen Page is not me is way too young for Alexander Skarsgard. She's 26! He's 36! (Hey, SO AM I!!!)
  • Alexander Skarsgard is 6'4" -- and Ellen Page is 5'1"!!! That's just crazy-talk. He's over a foot taller than she is!
  • And as if those reasons weren't enough, Skarsgard is a Virgo. Page is a Pisces. EVERYBODY knows that Virgo men and Pisces women don't mix.

And so I'm hopingafraid it's only a matter of time before this love connection breaks. Skarsgard will bounce back, to be sure. But Page? She's never, ever gonna find a man who lives up to Skarsgard standards. Might as well join the convent, honey.

Do you think Alexander Skarsgard and Ellen Page make a good couple?

 

Image via PacificCoastNews