By now you've probably heard that Desiree Hartsock is the new Bachelorette. And good for her -- I'm sure dating 25 guys will be a lot more fun than pining after just one.
But this new role isn't all champagne and hot tubs, this is a serious -- SERIOUS -- responsibility that Des is taking on. And there's so much to learn -- so little time! But luckily I've got a copy of ABC's Bachelor/Bachelorette handbook. I wrote it myself but whatever. It has everything she'll need to really succeed this season. Today, let's start with The Bachelorette lingo.
So listen up, Des ... here are a few catchphrases you'll need to memorize.
1. "For the right reasons." Everyone who comes on this show must be there for the right reasons. Now these alleged "reasons" have never actually been defined in Bachelor history, so this could get a little tricky if you're easily confused.
2. It's a "journey." This is the process of falling in love with multiple people on television. You should never address the fact that you have camera guys following you and ABC producer people telling you what to say. This is a magical journey. Nothing else.
3. "I'm falling for you." Not to be confused with actually being in love. This is just the stepping stone that almost always guarantees a rose. These words must be uttered before hometown dates or you've got to send the guy packing.
4. "I love you." These words must -- absolutely MUST -- be said when it gets down to the final two. No questions.
5. "Whenever you're ready." Chris Harrison will say this to you, like, at least 75 times during the course of the season. It's his way of trying to prove that his role actually matters. Do me a favor and smack him.
6. "I could see myself ..." The Bachelorette typically says this phrase after any positive time alone with a contestant. Ex: We just had a great chat by the waterfall. I could see myself with him forever.
7. "The most dramatic season in Bachelor history." I'm pretty sure Chris Harrison has this phrase tattooed on his arm.
8. The "connection." You'll never say that you simply "like someone" -- you'll only ever feel a connection. This usually happens within a day or so of meeting the person. It can also be a great excuse to send someone home. I just don't feel a connection.
9. "The process." This phrase is interchangeable with the "journey."
10. "... is like falling in love." You must compare every single thing you do to your relationship. Swimming with sharks is just like falling in love -- you can't be scared. Even though there is potential for a lot of pain.
Are you excited to see Desiree as the new Bachelorette? What's your favorite Bachelor catchphrase?
Image via ABC