Jake Gyllenhaal Is Dating Someone Way Out of His League

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jake gyllenhaalSomewhat ironically, it was right around the time he was being lauded for his turn as a "gay cowboy" that I became totally infatuated with Jake Gyllenhaal. But perhaps also ironically, his failed relationships with other A-list ladies over the years have been something of a turnoff. Dating Taylor Swift was by far the last straw! The guy's 32 -- she was, what, 16?! Okay, more like he was 30, and she was 21. But still, what the heck is he thinking?! Also, does he fancy himself in the same league as lifelong, too suave-to-marry celeb bachelors George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio? Not seeing it!

At any rate, he's been single since a brief relationship with Minka Kelly last summer. But new reports say he's been dating a new flame! Who's the lucky lady?!

Drumroll please ...

It's ... Emily DiDonato. Never heard of her? Neither had I. Turns out, she's a model based in NYC who was "featured" in Sports Illustrated's 2013 swimsuit edition. (Which basically translates to good job you're a hottie, but you're no Kate Upton!)

Emily and Jakey have been dating "for a month or two," according to an insider. And where did the happy couple meet? The posh spinning studio SoulCycle in Manhattan. They likely bonded over their shared passions ... fitness, staying in shape, looking hot, smiling. The usual. 

Yes, I'm pouring on the sarcasm thick because I just don't get what the dude's doing. Maybe he's closeted, and Emily is his latest beard. Maybe he's straight but a commitaphobe? Or an egomaniac. (The source did say of Jake's visits to SoulCycle, "He'll hop on the instructor bike. He loves the attention from the girls!" Uh-huh. Hmm ... What about the boys?!)

Anyway, it's disappointing, because if he is straight, it would be much more satisfying to see him with someone equally famous and successful -- like Katie Holmes! What happened there?! Even if that was never gonna pan out, it's not like there's a shortage of gorgeous, smart, wife-worthy women his own age (or older!) he'd probably have a greater chance of getting serious with.

But for now, guess he just wants to screw around spin with a barely legal SI sweetie. Good luck with that, Jake! Hey, at least she's not a singer-songwriter who's gonna bash you in a top 40 hit down the road!

What do you think about Jake's new flame? Who would you like to see him with?

 

Image via Siebbi/Wikimedia

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