Taylor Swift Shouldn't Be Judged for Dating a Lot of Men

Taylor SwiftI’ve always had a soft spot for Taylor Swift, and now I like her even more. The singing starlet covers the April issue of Vanity Fair, and she has some rather insightful points to make about the way her relationships -- or lack thereof -- are a constant source of media fodder and mockery.

Swift even has the gall to take on everyone’s fantasy BFFs, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (and by "everyone", I mean me). Regarding their Golden Globes jokes about Swift’s notorious love life, Swift invoked a quote she says Katie Couric shared with her: "There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women."

Well now! I don’t think Amy and Tina are going to hell over their joke (it really wasn’t that bad), but Taylor does bring up a good point: why is it supposedly okay to make constant fun of Swift’s habit of dating a lot of different men? It’s bad enough that she’s on the cover of magazines that question why she can't find love or why she always "gets dumped." Shouldn’t older, more experienced women like Fey and Poehler offer a little more support, rather than playing into the bizarre amount of ridicule directed Swift’s way over her romantic escapades?

For crying out loud, people, Swift is 23 YEARS OLD! She’s SUPPOSED to be dating and experiencing break-ups and all that fun stuff. Isn’t that the whole point of being a 20-something?

Not that Swift has been as busy as we’d like to think. She's been linked with a roster of A-list names like Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, and Taylor Lautner, but she says: "If you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people" (referring to Conor Kennedy and One Direction’s Harry Styles). But even if she HAD dated five times that number of guys in the last two years, who cares? It’s such a tired old double standard, and Swift is right when she calls it out.

When asked if she's "boy crazy," Swift says:

For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that's taking something that potentially should be celebrated -- a woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way -- that's taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist.

Amen, girl. The point isn’t how many guys she dates or doesn’t date, or what she uses as creative fodder for her songs. The point is sexism is alive and well, and we’re so used to it, we don’t even notice half the time. Where are all the stories about Justin Bieber’s desperate search for love? Puh-lease.

It’s exactly the same kind of thinking that ensured Jennifer Aniston would be plagued with "single and desperate" stories the moment Brad left her for Angie. Never mind that she’s a successful, independent woman; we only gave Aniston a break when she "finally" got a man to put a ring on it. And we laugh right along when other women make fun of Swift and her supposed dating woes, just like a bunch of mean girls.

Do you think we'd make the same fun of Taylor Swift if she were a 23-year-old guy?


Image via Vanity Fair

feminism, taylor lautner, taylor swift, award shows, celeb couples


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

bleed... bleedingheart8D

It's because her whole "Disney Princess Oh Miss Innocent" that she sells records with clashes with who she really is. 

douxm... douxmusique

No, we wouldn't be talking about this if she were a guy.

nonmember avatar Jessica

My issue with Taylor Swift doesn't stem from who she dates or how many people she dates (although I do agree that the double standards in the entertainment industry are disgusting, and she's more than entitled to date whomever she likes). My issue is how she takes a very "high school/middle school" approach to how she deals with the aftermath. Her job is to write and perform songs, but she comes off as very petty and childish when what she's known for is attacking exes in songs. I loved her Hunger Games song, and her B.O.B collaboration - she has merit and promise as an artist, but I can't stand her juvenile approach to relationships.

nonmember avatar Adele

To me, she comes across as bratty and immature. Her lyrics are juvenile and petty, and lack depth. Also, she has no business calling others out for making jokes about her dating. In one of her songs, she makes a very thinly veiled dig at Camilla Belle, saying she's well known for her skills on a mattress. Theres girl power for you. And I took issue with her Dear John song, which basically accused John Mayer of taking advantage of her, which is not cool, and a serious accusation. I think she can dish criticism out but can't take it, which is why I don't like her.

twili... twilightsbella

I love taylor swift i think shes lucky to be able to date such cuties ;)

Shandi80 Shandi80

I am forced to listen to her songs all day at work and they are nauseating, at best.

NatAndCo NatAndCo

I think when you write a song after every break up, you kind of open yourself up to jokes. Don't put it out there if you don't want people discussing it. And people talk about John Mayer's dating habits, George clooneys, etc

kelti... kelticmom

I agree that bashing every ex in her songs comes across as very immature. My problem with her is that she sees herself as such a role model for young girls, all "sweet Southern innocence", yet she has had this string of high publicity romances/breakups. She doesn't even attempt to keep her private life private. She may not throw it in our face like Kim K does, but the way she makes SURE she gets photographed and feeds the rumor mills with coy little comments and then the inevitable break up songs.....it all smacks of attention seeking. And helps sell her records.

Tripl... TripleC14

She loses a bit of credibility for her anger given her string of songs basically calling out her exes every time a relationship ends. By "confessing" to the world, she's inviting commentary, both positive and negative.

bella... bellacazzate

She's so whiny. And, come on, the joke aimed at her was nothing. You want to be in the spotlight? You've gotta learn to take some jabs. Also, all hail Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. What Swift said regarding them was ridiculous. 

1-10 of 13 comments 12 Last