Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy, do I ever have some good television news for you. Guess who's joining the cast of American Horror Story for the upcoming third season? Go ahead, guess! No, I'm not talking about that douchebag Adam Levine -- sorry to call him a douchebag, I know everyone thinks he's a super megahot tattooed dreamboat, but that's because you're not looking above the abs, okay? From the shoulders up it's all Smug Model-Banging Doucheapalooza -- I'm talking about KATHY BATES.
That's right, Kathy motherscratching Bates will be playing the frenemy of Jessica Lange’s character, and as if that little factoid isn't awesome enough all on its own, show creator Ryan Murphy tells us that Bates' infamous character in Misery has nothing on the deranged evil she'll be bringing to American Horror Story.
Um ... wow. That's QUITE THE CLAIM, Murphy.
If you haven't seen Kathy Bates' performance in Misery, you should probably rectify that situation straightaway. She was absolutely horrifying as Annie Wilkes, a deranged fan who rescues her favorite author after a car accident, and then ... well, Bad Things Happen. REALLY bad things.
Bates took home a well-deserved Academy Award for Best Actress for that role, and as wonderful as her career has been since then, it's hard to imagine her topping that particular performance. According to Murphy, however, we'll be seeing the dark side of Bates again, very very soon:
Oh, Kathy’s never [played] someone this bad. Her [character] is a bad, bad woman! (The character is) five times worse than [her] Misery character — which is why she liked it. When I pitched this to Kathy, her mouth was drop-jawed because what I was pitching actually happened. It’s a true event ... You’ll see. It’s some good stuff.
And with that, American Horror Story has officially sucked me back in. I enjoyed the first season, then gave up on the second season after the first few episodes left me mostly confused and bored instead of creeped out. I wouldn't have guessed there was much they could announce about a third season that would send me lunging for the record button on my DVR, but Kathy Bates? Yes please. Kathy Bates as a horrific true-life villain who may do something even worse than smashing James Caan's ankles to smithereens with a sledgehammer? OKAY OKAY YOU GOT ME WHEN DOES SEASON 3 START??? (Answer: this fall, on FX.)
What do you think about the casting of Kathy Bates?
Image via Kathy Bates