‘Bachelor’ Sean Lowe Fantasy Suite Dates Are G-Rated Dull & It’s All Emily Maynard’s Fault

bachelor sean loweIn the good old Bachelor and Bachelorette days, the fantasy suite dates provided the one episode a season where there was a chance at real chemistry, at actual sex, and at heart-breaking I'm dumping you the next day but you don't know it, let's bone tonight drama. But last night? Not so much. The highlight of Monday's episode was when AshLee Frazier iced the shit out of Sean Lowe, and when a silent stare is all we can talk about after three overnights on two hours of TV, we've got a problem. And that problem is called morals.

And it's allllll thanks to Emily Maynard.

She came on the show with her pretty hair and her perfect smile and her lovely southern accent and taught everyone at home what it means to be a lady, and I'll never forgive her.

Because, hello, how boring was last night! Sean had the same conversation, three times, with Catherine, Lindsay, and AshLee in which nothing was ever said. He kept on explaining to each woman that they know what his intentions are, and I guess that means they've talked about him being a big old born again virgin in private because as far as I can remember, we the audience never heard those convos on the show, just in Us Weekly cover stories, which is really kind of lame.

So there they sat, talking about "spending alone time together," which apparently everyone understood was not even the slightest euphemism for sex, and there we were, at home, wondering when everyone got so ethical.

I'm going to go ahead and blame it on Emily. God bless that woman, she set the bar so high for any other contestant with her effortless chasteness and immaculate manners, how could anyone possibly go on that show and say, Yes! Fantasy Saweeeeet! LET'S DO THIS.

They can't anymore, because someone more perfect before them has made it seem uncouth. Which, you know, it is, but it's a reality show and we need at least the illusion of our two lovebirds actually being in love four weeks after meeting and three days before getting engaged.

Ali Fedotowski kept it real -- she recently revealed in an interview that she had sex with Roberto in her Fantasy Saweet and I dig that about her. It's just that ... the Saweets make this extremely fake show that fools people into committing their entire life (slash the next few months) to sharing a fish bowl with a stranger into something corporeal and tangible.

I get that Sean's a virgin, and that's great for him, but I don't get why it's not a part of the show. I guess the producers thought it would make the audience less interested, which it might have, but fact is, there couldn't be anything less interesting than watching caged and couched conversations about "intentions" over uneaten dinners. (Seriously, those dishes last night looked amazing. How did none of them dig in?!)

Point is, the show's really classed up its act, and the once down and dirty Fantasy Suite dates have now become an opportunity for contestants to act as if they're above it all while on TV. Fine! So be it. If they want to draw the line there, but not, say, going on TV and marrying someone for fun and publicity, go for it.

The sad truth is that a classy Bachelor (the series, not Sean, per se) is a snooze fest. Again, if the highlight of the episode is someone not saying anything, that's an issue.

Did you think last night's episode was painfully boring?

 

Photo via abc.com

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Jelsey Pierce

Maybe instead of butting into everyone else's sex life, (since obviously it's not SEAN that is bored in his sex life, but this author), you should pay attention to your own.

Kristina Kirschbaum Roach

Nope, like the show 10x as much with better morals than sleezy ones!!!

Dee Newberry Hull

SEX ISN'T EVERYTHING. AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE STILL HAVE MORALS. LOVE AND WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART IS IMPORTANT. NOT THAT SEX SHOULDN'T BE A PART OF A RELATIONSHIP. BUT IT'S NOT ALL THERE IS TO LIFE. FAITH AND HUMOR HAVE GOTTEN MY HUSBAND AND I THROUGH ALMOST 50 YRS. OF MARRIAGE. I WAS 17 AND HE WAS 21. I AM NOW 67 AND HE WILL BE 71. WE ARE BOTH CRAZY(FUNNY) AND HAVE A GOOD TIME TOGETHER. HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND SOUL MATE FOREVER. LOVE HIM MORE TODAY THAN YESTERDAY BUT, NOT AS MUCH AS TOMORROW:):)

Nan Hekkema

LOVE having a bachelor AND a bachelorette who have faith in God and morals!! Actually wish they would speak a little more a bout it on the show :). Not boring at all. Totally respect the women and Sean. My heart broke for AshLee (and DES)

Linda Propes

His time with Catherine was kind of steamy. I wouldn't be surprised if something happened there

Melanie Dooley

Well, considering Catherine was in the running to be let go last week - something sure did happen fanatsy suite week !!!!!!!  Though I am hoping that what was implied is true.    Author's statements are OFFENSIVE !!!!!!    Just like the saying goes: leave a little to the imagination !!!!  That's where the fun is !!! :)  I have HATED fantasy suite weeks in the other seasons because it is just aggravating and disgusting  to think the bachelor or bachelorette  might have slept with three different people and then proposed to one the next week!!!!!!!!! 


 

nonmember avatar Angela G

Wasn't boring at all. None of the other shows show "inside" the fantasy suite anyway...so the writer of this article is definitely trying to use drama to get us to read her crazy babble. Pretty pathetic attempt...but I did fall victim, so I guess she's doing her job. Would someone actually write a column discussing what happened and why, talk about the women and their backgrounds, etc? It would be so much more entertaining than frustrating.

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