Did you hear? A bathroom flooded during the Oscars! A water pipe in a second-floor women's restroom in the Dolby Theater exploded less than 45 minutes before the broadcast started and sent water seeping into the lobby. Custodial staff reportedly fought back against the waters with three wet vacs.
Goodness, what could have triggered such a disaster right before the Oscars? When a bathroom floods at the Oscars, bad Seth MacFarlane flu jokes come to mind. But I have some theories of my own! Here's what I think could have caused the Great Oscar Flood of 2013
1. Someone tried to reenact Life of Pi in the bathroom.
2. Renee Zellweger accidentally dropped her eyeballs in the toilet. (We were wondering where they'd gone!)
3. Brandi Glanville got part of her dress clogged in a toilet.
4. It was just a prank concocted between Melissa McCarthy and Quvenzhané Wallis that got way, way out of hand. They SO did not mean for this to happen.
5. A pipe burst while Shirley Bassey was rehearsing because she's still got serious pipes of her own.
6. One of Halle Berry's pointy Star Trek shoulders sliced through a pipe.
7. One of Anne Hathaway's pointy nipples sliced through a pipe. (Yes, it really WAS that cold!)
8. Kristen Stewart flooded the bathroom weeping over her breakup with Robert, her cut foot, the end of Twilight, how mean everyone is to her, and those stupid, stupid crutches that don't even go with her dress, goddammit!
9. Kristin Chenoweth fell into a toilet.
10. Quentin Tarantino was told to "check his ego at the door" and instead he chucked it into the ladies' toilet. Good news, though -- he eventually got it back. As we all saw.
11. The Oscar God was pleased with Ang Lee but kind of pissed that Beasts of the Southern Wild didn't win Best Picture.
12. Daniel Day-Lewis put some "pressure" on the Oscars accountants to fix that win. And you thought he was such a nice, charming guy!
13. Jennifer Lawrence tripped over her dress and crashed into a pipe, and we have the gif right here, somewhere. Hold on ...
14. Barbra Streisand, Jane Fonda, Adele, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Hudson, and Shirley Bassey all walked into the bathroom at the same time and the entire facility suffered a diva explosion and I can't believe no one is talking about the lights flickering, too.
15. All the actresses mentioned in Seth's "We Saw Your Boobs" song gave Seth a swirly just to show him that, haha, they can totally take a joke, no offense taken, we totally got that this was a critique of Hollywood and not a diss to make them look foolish or anything, what with the fake reaction shots and everything. I'm not saying Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were there to help, but I'm also not NOT saying that.
What do you think could have caused the Oscars floods?
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