I hope you didn't pay for the full seat on today's AMAZING movie news, you guys -- because you're only going to need the edge. Are you ready for this unbelievably shocking announcement? Okay, here it is: you know Michael Bay's upcoming live-action/CGI reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise, right? Well guess what, Megan Fox is going to be in it! I KNOW, RIGHT??
After their enormously public falling out over Transformers, it's just so fantastic that they were able to put their differences aside for what's certain to be THE best movie of 2014. I mean, Fox is going to play April O'Neil, the human friend of the Ninja Turtles -- I smell an Oscar! What a role! What an opportunity! What a ... completely humiliating job to take.
Okay look, I'm not saying that for sure Michael Bay cast Megan Fox in this film in order to lord his mighty explosive high-budget action power over her and make her grovel for a paycheck, I'm saying it seems like that's what's happening. Because I'm guessing he hasn't exactly forgotten the way she publicly bashed him after Transformers turned her into an overnight superstar.
In 2009, she said of the movie that made her into one of Hollywood's hottest commodities:
I'm terrible in it. It's my first real movie, and it's not honest and not realistic. The movie wasn't bad, I just wasn't proud about what I did. ... But unless you're a seasoned veteran, working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience.
Bay fired back via the Wall Street Journal,
Well, that's Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, 'OK, Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it.' ... Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in 'Transformers.' I like to think that I've had some luck in building actors' careers with my films.
Unbelievably, Fox wasn't done. She went on to tell Wonderland magazine,
(Michael Bay) is like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all.
As you may remember, Bay chose to swap Fox with Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for Transformers 3, sending the unmistakable message that he could cast any gorgeous face he wanted in his movies and they'd still rake in plenty of box office millions.
In 2011, he told GQ why he replaced Fox:
(Fox) was in a different world, on her BlackBerry. You gotta stay focused. And you know, the Hitler thing. (...) Megan loves to get a response. And she does it in kind of the wrong way. I'm sorry, Megan. I'm sorry I made you work twelve hours. I'm sorry that I'm making you show up on time. Movies are not always warm and fuzzy.
Shia LaBeouf, never one to keep his opinion-hole shut, weighed in on the feud:
Criticism is one thing. Then there's public name-calling, which turns into high school bashing. Which you can't do. She started shit talking our captain.
Ugh. Shut up, LaDouche.
Last year, Fox told MTV News that despite all her complaints, she still hoped to work with Bay again sometime:
You get addicted to those big action movies. You get addicted to the Bay-hem. You step away from it, and you're relieved and you're relaxed and you do something that's quieter and you feel like you're really working on it and you're fleshing out and figuring things out. But then you sort of miss that abuse.
Well, apparently she got her wish. Bay announced the casting decision via his official website on February. 21: "TMNT: We are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!"
Honestly, I almost feel a little sorry for Megan Fox, because regardless of why she took this role -- the money, the fact that her career hasn't exactly been on fire lately, the money -- she loses all credibility by going back to this type of film. Plus, she just made a big deal about how now that she's a parent, acting isn't her job anymore.
Of course, she's already made it clear that no one does any "acting" in Michael Bay's movies. I bet the two of them are going to have a WONDERFUL time working together on Ninja Turtles, don't you? Every day at craft services: a delicious, steaming plate of medium-rare crow.
Why do you think Megan Fox went back to Michael Bay for Ninja Turtles?
Image via Josh Jensen/Flickr