Head’s up: If you’re ever interviewing Mila Kunis, DON’T ask her about the man in her life. She’s on the cover of the March issue of Allure, and when the interviewer brought out a photo of Ashton Kutcher for her to comment, Mila got a little testy: "I didn't think this was going to be about my friends. Not about who my friends are, who I'm dating, or who I may have ever dated. That's not talking about myself!"
Well okay then! I beg to differ -- it’s totally interesting and revealing to hear people talk about their relationships, but whatevs, Mila, I can dig that you try to keep some semblance of privacy in your life as a celebrity. Moving along to the interesting part ... she then said, "For four years I was single. An amazing time. An amazing time. I love being single."
Now THERE are words to live by. I don’t know the details of Mila’s love life, but I do know that seems like she started being spotted with Ashton oh, within the last year, right? And she’s 29 now, so that means she was single for a big chunk of time right in the middle of her 20s. At her age, that would have FREAKED ME OUT! Why? Because I would never have thought that I could be happy just being me, alone. Me alone was not enough.
I so admire a woman -- of any age -- who is happy and comfortable being single, and I wish I had been the same when I was younger. I feel like I wasted so much time fretting over my love life instead of enjoying being ME, learning how be in the world solo, how to enjoy doing things on my own, and fostering my friendships instead of obsessing over my relationships.
And just because Mila says being single was "amazing" doesn't mean that she isn't having a great time with Ashton (if she is indeed dating him, which it SEEMS like she is, right my fellow gossipmongers?), or that she isn't capable of loving someone else, or that her current relationship is somehow lacking or paling in comparison to the single life. Au contraire! A person who is happy being single, who can appreciate her own company, and who is comfortable in her own skin, is a person who can enjoy a healthy relationship of equals when the time -- and the right person -- comes along. I think Mila's point is that she is the same person whether she's single or not, and that she is not defined by her relationship status.
I understand that it’s all well and good for me to give props to other people for enjoying their singlehood. After all I met the guy who is now my husband when I was 25, and we’ve been together ever since. I know how lucky I am in that respect, and I wish for everyone to eventually find their life partner, if that’s what they want. BUT ... I really, really, REALLY wish that I had shared Mila’s outlook on life as a younger woman. And that’s the advice I would give to any of my little sisters or single girlfriends; the philosophy I will try to impart on my daughter: Being one half of a couple doesn't make you a whole person; you already ARE a whole person. And the more you can learn to appreciate that, the more enjoyment you'll get out of life, out of just being yourself.
Do you ever wish you had spent more time enjoying being single? Or are you single now and think I’m crazy?
Image via Allure
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside