Taylor Swift's love life is just as much (or more) a part of her success as her music these days, so it's no wonder she spilled to Elle magazine about how she really acts when she's in love. Serial dater Taylor acknowledged, "I'm sure if I looked up the latest Google Alerts rumor it would say I'm chasing somebody who doesn't like me as much as I like him -- people love that angle on me. They're like 'Oh Taylor, coming on too strong again, chasing boys.' I never chase boys. They don't like it!'" Uh huh, suuuure, Tay Tay.
Whether or not that's true, I do loathe that Hollywood and the media seem to love to witch hunt assertive young women with a hint of confidence about sexuality for "coming on too strong." Women should be able to express interest in a guy without being accused of making fools of ourselves. At the same time, though, there is something to be said for refusing to "chase boys."
After being burned plenty of times in the dating world, I came to embrace a general rule when you don't know where you stand with a potential love interest: When in doubt, keep your distance. Not necessarily in a way that's SO standoffish that he thinks you have zero interest. But more like ... don't go out of your way. Make sure you could be seen as at least semi-unavailable. And yeah, let him chase you. Taylor may not have the best track record in relationships, but she's right -- men tend to prefer to do the chasing themselves.
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Maybe it's a silly Rules-y way of finding love, but it works. And it's not playing games. It's simply making it clear that you have enough going on in your own life and you're so full of confidence and self-respect that you don't need to chase. You're good enough to be chased!
Similarly, Taylor claimed that she never freaks out on exes:
I don't think I've ever yelled at an ex-boyfriend. Ever. I'm not a yeller. I'm not a fit thrower. If something is done, it's done.
(Rrrrright, no fits, just whiny songs and slams at the Grammys. Semantics!)
Sounds like another case in which the rule applies. When in doubt that an ex even CARES about what you have to yell about, keep your distance. Leave it alone. If he's worth it, he'll come around. And if he's not, you go on with your self-respecting self.
Well, hey, if Taylor actually behaves the way she described to Elle, maybe there's hope for her after all!
How do you feel about chasing guys or letting them chase you?
Image via Elle.com