In her latest interview for Redbook, February cover girl Miranda Lambert reveals a marriage philosophy that I can really get behind: "Divorce is not an option," she says ... and then calls herself a "marriage ninja." I love it!
Okay, let me back up a little and 'splain that ninja remark. The whole interview makes me want to take Miranda out on a girl date (she seems like a totally fun gal to drink margaritas with), but this is the part that really grabbed my attention: the interviewer pointed out that Miranda wore her mom’s wedding dress when she tied the knot two years ago with Blake Shelton (awww!) and then asked, "What else did you take from her other than her dress?" Miranda replied: "'Divorce is not an option.' She's said that my whole life. It rings in my ears."
Miranda then went on to explain that her parents actually DID get divorced way back when, but then they got REMARRIED when they realized Miranda was on the way! And, when they got remarried, Miranda says her mom was a different person: "She was like, All right, it's not about me anymore. And so she just said, 'We will fight it out.'"
Redbook then asked Miranda how she feels knowing that Blake’s first marriage didn't work out, and Miranda repeated: "Divorce is not an option! I will fight to the death. I am a ninja."
A ninja death battle for marriage! All right, I agree that sounds kind of crazy (uh, totally nutty in fact), but I’m down with it! It’s basically my philosophy too. And no, I don’t think it should be EVERYONE’S. I have no judgment about other people calling it quits; I totally get that some things are not meant to be and many people are better off after they end their marriages (especially if they were in unhealthy or abusive situations). But for ME? I would like to think of myself as a marriage ninja too.
My husband and I have been together for about 11 years, our daughter is almost 10, and we’ve been married for six. So, as you can see by doing a little math, we definitely didn't have a traditional start, but all the same, divorce is totally not an option for us either. A huge part of the reason for that is our daughter: I know that despite our problems and all the bumps in the rocky road behind and ahead of us, she’s better off with us together.
The other reason is that I love my husband, I know he loves me, and in my heart (and when I’m not furious about something or other), I believe that we are better and bigger than our "issues" (of which there are many!). Our marriage is worth fighting for, and for me, if I take the choice of divorce right out of the picture, then when we fight -- er, "disagree" -- it’s just about the argument, it’s never (well, hardly ever) about the underlying question of whether or not we should trigger the escape hatch.
And that’s what I think is REALLY at the root of that kind of funny "ninja" philosophy: Once I really decided for myself that separating would just never be an option, that meant we HAVE to make it work. My husband and I have to battle it out and find our way through our problems because we're stuck with each other. I hope he finds that as cheery a thought as I do!
What do you think of this ninja-style, "divorce is not an option" philosophy?
Image via Redbook