In her latest interview for Redbook, February cover girl Miranda Lambert reveals a marriage philosophy that I can really get behind: "Divorce is not an option," she says ... and then calls herself a "marriage ninja." I love it!
Okay, let me back up a little and 'splain that ninja remark. The whole interview makes me want to take Miranda out on a girl date (she seems like a totally fun gal to drink margaritas with), but this is the part that really grabbed my attention: the interviewer pointed out that Miranda wore her mom’s wedding dress when she tied the knot two years ago with Blake Shelton (awww!) and then asked, "What else did you take from her other than her dress?" Miranda replied: "'Divorce is not an option.' She's said that my whole life. It rings in my ears."
Miranda then went on to explain that her parents actually DID get divorced way back when, but then they got REMARRIED when they realized Miranda was on the way! And, when they got remarried, Miranda says her mom was a different person: "She was like, All right, it's not about me anymore. And so she just said, 'We will fight it out.'"
Redbook then asked Miranda how she feels knowing that Blake’s first marriage didn't work out, and Miranda repeated: "Divorce is not an option! I will fight to the death. I am a ninja."
A ninja death battle for marriage! All right, I agree that sounds kind of crazy (uh, totally nutty in fact), but I’m down with it! It’s basically my philosophy too. And no, I don’t think it should be EVERYONE’S. I have no judgment about other people calling it quits; I totally get that some things are not meant to be and many people are better off after they end their marriages (especially if they were in unhealthy or abusive situations). But for ME? I would like to think of myself as a marriage ninja too.
My husband and I have been together for about 11 years, our daughter is almost 10, and we’ve been married for six. So, as you can see by doing a little math, we definitely didn't have a traditional start, but all the same, divorce is totally not an option for us either. A huge part of the reason for that is our daughter: I know that despite our problems and all the bumps in the rocky road behind and ahead of us, she’s better off with us together.
The other reason is that I love my husband, I know he loves me, and in my heart (and when I’m not furious about something or other), I believe that we are better and bigger than our "issues" (of which there are many!). Our marriage is worth fighting for, and for me, if I take the choice of divorce right out of the picture, then when we fight -- er, "disagree" -- it’s just about the argument, it’s never (well, hardly ever) about the underlying question of whether or not we should trigger the escape hatch.
And that’s what I think is REALLY at the root of that kind of funny "ninja" philosophy: Once I really decided for myself that separating would just never be an option, that meant we HAVE to make it work. My husband and I have to battle it out and find our way through our problems because we're stuck with each other. I hope he finds that as cheery a thought as I do!
What do you think of this ninja-style, "divorce is not an option" philosophy?
Image via Redbook
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Comments 20
I like to think this way because I can't image not being married to my husband; we love each other and are still very much in love. It's different for everyone, though. My sister-in-law states, quite often, that she will NEVER get a divorce from my brother-in-law, even though she can't stand even being in the same room as him. It has a lot to do with money and what she won't get if they divorce. So yeah, depends on who you're talking to.
I was lucky, I grew up with both parents. My parents were together 37 years, until the day my dad passed away. Kind of a funny story, they only KNEW each other for two WEEKS before they got married and they had a happy marriage. I too plan to be with my husband forever, though I am not naive & I know shit happens but I do believe were going to make it. It's not always easy, we fight, sometimes more than id like to admit but we love each other and at the end of the day I think we make a good team. People are too often eager to give up because "the grass is greener on the other side" mentality, not me, I know what i've got!
Divorce is not an option for us either and we've been married 20 years in May. We are a little old fashion too but there's nothing wrong with that. Unless there's adultery or physical or mental abuse then anything else can be worked out, its just a matter of wanting too. It does take two people who have the same values to make it work however and I'm thankful that I have someone like that.
Whetn its working nothing better when its not nothing could be worse. People grow and change from who they were when they married (Unless 2nd or 3rd time around )So with over 1/2 of couples getting divorced it might be a little naive to think one person will be everything,For ever, Divoroce is part of life and necessary for a lot of women, not so long ago it was almost impossible to get out Now it is a viable option like civil contracts and preNups...What was that sonng Look out sugar Daddy Im comming for you saying anyway?
My fiance and I have this same mindset. When we decide to tie the knot, it's forever; unless something drastic happens. Too many couples just give up when life gets tough, and we don't want to be just another statistic. I will say what everyone else has said; there are circumstances where divorce is really the best option, but for us, it just isn't. We want to fix it when it's broken and rejoice when it is good.
I love her and love that divorce is not an option for her. It isn't for me either but to each their own.