Kris Humphries, give it up already, dude. Seriously, this is just ridiculous. I feel bad that Kim Kardashian ripped your heart out and sullied your name forever, but you're not going to win this battle. There's literally no way. And now, you're starting to look like a bit of a jerk.
The new Republic US Weekly is claiming that Kris thinks that Kim's pregnancy has given him the upper hand and he's all aflutter about it, excited to, as Celeb Dirty Laundry put it, "humiliate and torture" her. A source told the mag: "Kris told his friends the pregnancy is the best thing to happen for him. He says he has all the power again."
Am I the only person who thinks this has gotten out of hand? I mean, even if you think Kim's the most obnoxious person on Earth, which I know someone out there has to, you have to feel sort of bad for the woman.
I'm guessing that the reason Kris thinks he "has all the power" here is because now that Kim's baking a baby Yeezy in her belly, she's really going to want a divorce from Kris. Not only is the press going to be bad times, who wants to be married to one dude while pregnant from another? There's more of a sense of urgency now. I'm sure Kim will want to be rid of Kris Humphries once and for all by the time she gives birth. AKA, Kris will be able to get what he wants from Kim -- her to admit their marriage was the ultimate sham (among other things I presume).
Maybe it's because I have a soft spot for pregnant ladies, or because quite honestly, I'm sick of this storyline already (I know, I know, I'm writing about it, gotcha) -- but to be happy your estranged wife is pregnant because you'll be able to get what you want makes you seem like, well, a dick.
Kris, moveon.org, man. This is never going to end up all in your favor. You're dealing with Kris Jenner here. It's better for everyone at this point if you just walk away. Write a tell-all in 10 years. Possible titles: Out of Bounds: How I Got My Game Back After Kim Kardashian (Both On & Off the Court); Full Court Press: My 72-Day Marriage to Kim Kardashian; or Slam Dunk: What My 2 1/2-Month Marriage Taught Me About Life. I'm just spitballing here. We'll talk about it when it gets closer. At the very least, I think we can get a nibble from Knopf.
What do you think of Kris Humphries?
Image via Pacific Coast News