Twenty-two-year-old aspiring rapper Freddy E's Twitter feed is filled with mysterious, despondent messages. "I love you Mom, I love you Dad," he wrote. "God .. please forgive me." His last message is simply this: "I'm sorry."
It's unbelievably sad to scan Freddy E's final thoughts because he'll never get a chance to write anything else. The Seattle rapper and YouTube personality, who was signed to Tyga's Last Kings record label, committed suicide last Saturday evening.
Tragically, his desperate act seems to have been the result of a failed relationship with another rapper named Honey Cocaine -- and worse, fans are blaming Honey for Freddy's death.
Freddy E (real name: Freddy E. Buhl) posted a series of tweets on the day of his death, writing things like:
Smoked my first pack of cigarettes today... been a long time since I've gone through heart break. It's a cold unforgiving world if I do say. Wishing the world could be a little brighter. But all I can seem to find is this lighter. It's all bad y'all. If there's a God then He's calling me back home. This barrel never felt so good next to my dome. It's cold & I'd rather die than live alone. It's... all... bad... y'all. *puts finger around trigger*.
While the reason for Buhl’s death hasn't been confirmed, it's believed that he committed suicide because of troubles with his ex-girlfriend, who went by the name “Honey Cocaine.” After Freddy's death, Honey posted her own thoughts on Twitter:
To say I caused what happened is ignorance.. You know nothing about our friendship or the story, hate me if you feel.. We loved each other. Say it's my fault, threaten me, whatever.. I knew him well enough to know he had other things happening.. I was there for him all the time. I said some foolish things cause I thought he was joking, he does shit like that to me all the time. This is crazy..
From the first time we met, we said we'd do whatever for eachother. Bonnie and f***ing Clyde. If you love him, respect us and our situation.
Who knows what really happened, or what led Freddy to decide on such a shocking and permanent solution to his problems. All we can know is that in suicide, the person leaves horror and sadness and questions behind … and ultimately, their actions are their own. It's obvious he was hurting, but no one can be blamed for his choice to pick up a gun last weekend.
As Freddy's father wrote,
Our family is saddened beyond words; our loss is great; this tragedy is enormous and unforeseen. Not only our family, but the world has lost a talented, sensitive, brilliant young man who lit up our existence with his. We love him a great deal, and he will be sorely missed. We pray that God will now watch over him, and we ask all of you to include Frederick and our entire family in your thoughts and prayers.
Condolences to this young man's family. What a tragic loss.
Had you heard of Freddy E? Do you think it's at all fair that his ex is being attacked for his suicide?
Image via freddy e/Tumblr