Amid rumors that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married over Christmas, there's a greater, even awesomer rumor circulating about what could've been. Sources are claiming that Angie only settled for Brad after her first choice, Alexander co-star Colin Farrell, turned her down. I know.
Apparently, the two were hooking up while filming and Angelina fell madly in love with him and even sent him naughty voicemails and videos (which, like, of course she did). Colin, however, wasn't really feeling the "relationship" vibe and put a stop to their romance during their movie's press tour.
That's when Angelina met Brad and the rest is break Jen's heart, adopt a kid here, adopt a kid there, here a kid, there a kid, everywhere a kid, kid history. Filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith was a-go, and so was her what I can assume was a very vanilla affair with Brad after having had Colin for a while.
Because neither of us has anything better to do, let's imagine, for a moment, what it would be like if Angelina and Colin ended up together. Two bad boys in the same relationship? There'd be public fireworks non-stop.
First of all, there'd for sure be a leaked sex tape, and on said tape we'd learn that those two are some super kinky mother truckers. Gross.
There'd be way less peace in the world because Angelina wouldn't have gotten all Mother Teresa on us and would've instead embraced and accepted her role as our black widow-esque rebel.
Poor Jen's life would've been way different, too. She'd still be married to Brad. Maybe they'd even have a golden child whose godparents would be the entire cast of Friends and Ocean's 11.
And Zahara, Pax, and Maddox's lives ... they'd be pretty different, as well. With Angie busy using the blood of virgins to tattoo Colin's name on the inside of her lip, she'd be too preoccupied to adopt.
And who knows, even Britney Spears' life could've been different. Had Colin been with Angelina, maybe he and Brit never would've hooked up, and one less rejection in Britney's black book could've saved her from her meltdown.
I'm not saying that Angelina Jolie ruined Britney Spears' life, but it's a possibility.
Could you see Angelina and Colin together?
Photo via Ralph Orlowski/Getty
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside