When I think of the two celebrities I would most like to see get together and maybe even make beautiful famous babies together, it's not even a contest. The choice is just so incredibly clear, and now that the rumors have been confirmed, I'm nearly passing out with joy, because oh, it's true, it's not some wonderful dream that we're all going to wake up from, it's really and truly happening. Finally -- finally -- Simon Cowell and Carmen Electra are dating.
But maybe this is just another rumor, you might be saying. Another heartbreaking tease of a rumor designed to toy with our feelings! No, my friend. Simon himself confirmed it. And so their amazing journey begins, and you won't believe some of the mesmerizing details they've shared about their magical, undying love.
For instance, the comment Simon Cowell made on Ryan Seacrest's radio show on Wednesday when he was flat-out asked if Carmen was his new girlfriend ... well, brace yourselves, because this is possibly the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life:
Girlfriend? *laughs* We're people who date.
He went on to say, "She's adorable, isn't she?" which is, like, EERILY similar to what Carmen said about him!
He’s so cute. He’s adorable, he’s actually a sweetheart.
OH MY GOD THEY ARE JUST SO AWESOME TOGETHER I CAN'T EVEN --
All right, I'm actually getting sick of my own sarcasm. Honestly, the idea of these two dating gives me the major major MAJOR heebs, and I'm not even sure why. Maybe because Carmen is forever kind of skanky in my mind for being married to Dave Navarro (ew) and Dennis Rodman (double ew) and riding Howard Stern's Sybian and for giving herself a porny-sounding stage name when her REAL name (Tara Patrick) is already porny-sounding, and Simon Cowell -- well, he's just plain icky.
Do you think he takes off that moob-exposing V-neck t-shirt when they get it on? Does he make her strip? Does she tell him to whisper his net worth in her ear? What awesome critiques does he have for her new song "I Like It Loud"?
So many questions, so few answers. At any rate, I'm guessing these two won't be throwing a big fancy reality show wedding special any time soon, but who knows ... stranger things have happened. (*cough DENNIS RODMAN cough cough*)
What do you think about Carmen Electra and Simon Cowell as a couple?
Images via X Factor, rafamado/Flickr