Melissa Gorga’s Book Deal Promises Even More Gross Details About Her Sex Life With Joe

Eye Roll 8

melissa gorgaYou know how Melissa and Joe Gorga are so TMI with their HOTHOTHOT sex life on Real Housewives of New Jersey? I mean, glad the magic is still there and everything, but we don't need the details. And yet: More details about Melissa and Joe's sex life are headed our way!

No, it's not a sex tape. The world remains safe from that, at least. Melissa Gorga just nabbed a book deal. She will be penning the soon-to-be classic advice book, Love, Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage. According to Melissa, we were asking for it!

Melissa says, "I can't tell you how many times Joe and I are approached by fans asking how they can have a marriage like ours. A great marriage doesn't just happen. It's a job." Okey dokey, I'm just going to leave that "It's a job" line alone even thought it's soooo tempting. But seriously? Who are these people who are asking Melissa for more information about her marriage? Because I think we've already seen way more of it than we ever asked for.

And the alternate title for Melissa's book could have been How Joe Overcompensated For His Shortness With Stallion-Like Hot Sex With Me Like All The Time, because that's what this is really all about. Not that there's anything wrong with short men! Just short men who go on television and must prove to the world that while they are small in some aspects they are HUGE where it counts, wink wink, know what I mean?!?

So it all comes down to this: Melissa Gorga laid the groundwork for her book on the show. And it kind of seems like all the fuss on the show was just to make her short husband seem more manly. And... come to think of it, isn't there something kind of sweet about that? You know, underneath all the gross exhibitionism, and the hotter-than-thou stuff, which is probably totally fake? I don't know, I'm just trying to see the bright side here.

Will you buy Melissa Gorga's book -- or at least steel a few peeks at it at the book store?

 

Image via Bravo

 

reality tv, real housewives, television, books