Okay, I am going to attempt to write this article without caps-lock-fangirling all over your computer screen, but you guys, IT IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY. (Actually, forget it. Restraint is overrated.) There's a movie that I didn't even know was in the works, and it combines several of my very favorite things in one bitchin' package. You start with the fact that it's directed by Guillermo del Toro (the genius behind Pan's Labyrinth), move on to the plot -- which involves giant human-piloted robots fighting aliens, what's wrong with that, NOTHING, that's what -- and you finish things off with its cast, which includes Charlie Hunnam (Jax Teller!) and Idris Elba (Stringer Bell!), and you have Pacific Rim. OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE SO HARD.
While the mere description of it is enough to make me want to run around in circles flapping my hands with hysterical anticipation, the first official trailer for Pacific Rim hit the web today. And it. Is. AMAAAAAAAAAZING.
Okay, first a little backstory on the plot, which is super super complicated, so try and follow along: some sort of portal has opened up in the Pacific Ocean which giant monsters travel through to attack Earth and humans fight back using mondo killer robots.
And … um, actually, that's pretty much it. Which is plenty, believe me. Check this thing out (be sure and full-screen-size the video):
I'm going to deduct a couple points for that increasingly-overused Inception horn-blat which sounds like a chair being dragged dramatically across a tile floor, but otherwise, SOLID TRAILER AM I RIGHT?
I mean, so many great tastes that taste great together! There are the awesomely enormous monsters (god, did you see that massive creepy skeleton on the ship in the beginning?), and the sweet-ass robotic combat scenes that (hopefully) haven't been Michael-Bay-ized with dumb one-liners and Shia LaBarf.
Plus, the screen candy! Er, I mean, "the talented male actors whose abs I would like to slowly tongue-bathe while Sade plays in the background work I totally admire." Charlie Hunnam is a welcome surprise (and he's totally using his Jax Voice for the narration), but Idris Elba is just the icing on the cake. "Today we are canceling the Apocalypse!" is obviously the new "Spartans! Tonight we dine in hell!"
It's like Starship Troopers meets Cloverfield meets Transformers, and the only way this could look more appealing to me is if it also threw in a few zombies. In conclusion: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
(Note: I am studiously avoiding the fact that I was nearly this excited about Battle: Los Angeles, which was, I'm sorry to say, a steaming bitter chunk of disappointing dogshit.)
What do you think about the trailer for Pacific Rim? Are you as dorked out as I am?
Image via Warner Bros