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5 Reasons Why 'Real Housewives' Is Too Stomach-Churning to Watch

by Adriana Velez on December 12, 2012 at 5:10 PM

real housewivesI have a terrible confession. Are you ready? It's shocking. Here it is: I kind of hate Real Housewives. I know these are astronomically popular shows. I know most of my colleagues here at The Stir love Housewives. I have dear friends who love Housewives. They're all smart, thoughtful women I admire (my friends and colleagues, not the Housewives). But I am utterly repelled by the whole concept.

Could somebody please explain the appeal to me? Because I just don't get it! Grown-ass women, on TV, fighting with each other. It's just ... unseemly. It makes me so uncomfortable, for so many reasons. Let me count them all.

1. First of all, I just hate seeing women tear each other down. Maybe it's because I have two sisters, but I feel too much loyalty to women to enjoy watching them be so mean to each other. I can't sit back and laugh. I can only cringe.

2. And the conflict! Look, I'm not afraid of conflict in real life. I've yelled at other people, total strangers, in public. I probably scream, "I'M WALKING HERE!" at least once a month. I'm not proud of that -- my only excuse is that I live in New York City and sometimes it gets to be too much. I'm trying really, really hard to keep a lid on it. It's not easy. So no, I don't want to watch other people fail to exercise self-control. Because that's not helping me.

3. Then there's the rampant greed -- women who have SO MUCH and aren't the least bit grateful or satisfied. Women who judge each other by labels, who obsess over having more, better, bigger everything. I'm not against having stuff -- I love stuff! It's the way the Housewives pursue acquisition as an end in itself to feed the emptiness inside. I guess I feel sorry for their empty souls.

4. Worst of all, I hate the way they drag their families into their feuds and dramas. Innocent children who have a right to privacy are exploited. I mean, how do Adrienne Maloof's kids feel about the world speculating that they were born to a surrogate mother? What happens when they go to school?

5. And finally, I'm just confused about the stance I'm supposed to take as a viewer. Am I supposed to pick "teams" and "players" to root for, like in football? Am I really supposed to be scandalized? Or am I supposed to enjoy it all with an ironic distance? WHICH?!? Because if it's ironic distance, I still can't. And that's really weird -- I live, eat, and breathe in irony. It's my first language. And yet I just can't make room in my ironic heart for the Housewives. What does that mean?

Maybe I'm not as cynical as I thought I was! Could it be possible, I'm too sincere and soft to enjoy Real Housewives? God, I don't even know who I am anymore! This is all so disturbing. YOU SEE? This is why I cannot stomach Real Housewives.

Tell me really, what's the appeal of this series for you?


Image via Bravo


  • rhps2000


    December 12, 2012 at 5:19 PM
    IDK. I don't watch. But I love that you yell I'm Walking Here in NYC! Oh, please tell me you smack a car with your hand when you do that!!! :-)
  • Trace...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Tracey Plummer

    December 12, 2012 at 5:21 PM

    I don't watch it anymore, since I got rid of my cable, but I used to watch, and I was always amazed by their behavior. NONE of the women I spend time with fight like they do or treat each other so disrespectfully!


  • CPN322


    December 12, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    I'm completely with you, Adriana. Though I did watch a few shows when the very first Real Housewives came out and have had to watch some with friends, I really don't see the appeal either. It actually stressed me out watching it.

  • jhslove


    December 12, 2012 at 7:01 PM

    Ummmmm........I'm pretty sure the fact that you hate Real Housewives (any of them) is actually something to be proud of, not a confession. You know, 'cause it means you're not an idiot.

  • DanDe...
    -- Facebook comment from

    DanDebbie Nunez

    December 12, 2012 at 7:48 PM
    I'll be very honest with you. I am very conflicted about watching this franchise. I hate the greed, narcissism and catty behavior of these women and yet, at the same time it does kind of make me feel better about myself in that I am not a narcissistic, greedy hater of other women. I'm actually ashamed of myself for watching but can't stop. It's sick.
  • Stone...


    December 12, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    I think these shows are just less-tan versions 'Jersey Shore'. Everyone is fighting and wearing too much make up. No wonder kids and teenagers think it's okay to fight and talk negatively about each other behind their backs


  • Cece...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Cece Duvall

    December 13, 2012 at 12:04 AM

    I love these shows. I don't honestly believe they are real that's why I can enjoy them as a guilty pleasure. They are like unscripted (because I do think the circumstances are staged but the dialogue is not) soap operas but with real life consequences.

  • Diamond
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 13, 2012 at 9:25 AM
    I have to agree I use to love all the housewives now I can't even watch. When I flip thru channels I see it n start watching just to get annoyed
  • Tracy...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Tracy Beckham

    December 13, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    It's my version of NASCAR or football.  I watch for the crashes and battles.  Above all, it makes me realize that no matter how much money you have, you're still miserable.  Except for Phaedra, who is fabulous all of the time!

  • Grann...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Granny Lee

    December 13, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    I have stopped watching..there is no Empowerment of women here..$$ ,flash and vendictivenes..Who does this..Not in the real world !

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