Brandi Glanville and Adrienne MaloofOh you silly Housewives, always gotta make things super overly dramatic. Things got really out of control on RHOBH. We have no clue what Brandi Glanville said about Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif on Monday night's ep. The possibilities being discussed are pretty heavy issues, abuse and surrogacy for starters. Come on, though. We all know that Housewives reality is a bit different from ours.

So since we're all dying to know what the big secret is and it doesn't sound like we're going to find out anytime soon, let's consider for a minute a few lighter issues that could set her off, shall we?

1. Paul isn't even a real doctor: Yeah, so what, we've seen him operate on Mauricio's mother on the show? For all we know, this is one big staged foolish game and we're just victims of "reality."

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2. Adrienne's hair isn't hers: Sure, other Housewives like Kim Zolciak have no problem admitting that their strands are 100 percent fake. Adrienne, though, what if her hair is faux and it's just full of secrets wanting to get out?

3. Adrienne's three sons are just actors: Hey, if so they've got the parts down PERFECT. Complete with fake hospital visits for mysterious injuries and everything!

4. Adrienne has nothing to do with "her" shoe line: When she says she made a brand new line for spring 2013, she really means that she paid someone else to design it. The last thing she wants is people to stop splurging for her $130 stilts!

5. Adrienne only owns "fake" jewelry: Oh my GOD. THE HORROR. If this were to get out, the whole world would dismiss her as a Real Housewife. And then where would she be???

OK, so obviously none of these things are true. Adrienne's sons, well, they're adorable and Paul, well, he's a real M.D. But hey, they're a whole lot LESS serious, more Bravo-ish, and less worrisome to ponder these than the really serious accusations being flung around. Only time will tell what the true issues are, and trust me, this is gonna be juicy.

What do you think set off Adrienne? What's the big secret?

 

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