honey boo booWell look who's on Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating People" list: Little Honey Boo Boo, that's who. And we shouldn't be the least bit surprised. I think if I had to guess, I'd say Barbara Walters is probably more "baffled" than "fascinated." I'm sure she's been asking herself, "What IS it about this poor little girl that has ALL OF AMERICA tawking?"

Her answer: It's a love story. She told Us Weekly, "A lot of people will say, 'For heaven's sake, this is ridiculous, this is a child at 5 or 6 years old entering beauty contests. But the relationship between Alana and her mother -- that's the story, the two of them. It's very touching." Ahhh, so it's the mother-daughter relationship? Hmm, are you sure it's not the gay pet pig? Let's dig a little deeper, Bawbwa. Here's why we think Honey Boo Boo is so fascinating.

Toddlers and Tiaras. Let's start with how this whole thing began: A cringe-inducing reality show about little girls in pageants. It's exploitative. The girls hate it -- except when they love it. It's repulsive -- and yet we can't look away.

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Go-go juice. Probably one of the worst legal beverages you could possibly feed a child. AND YET: It has the cutest name ever. It's kind of an irresistible combination.

Glitzy the gay pet pig. Yeah, speaking of that pig. What the EFF? It's not enough that her pet isn't a dog -- it's a pig. But it's not just a pig, it's a gay pig. And it's like the Liberace of pigs. I'm so sad she had to give up Glitzy.

Sketty. Pasta noodles mixed with margarine and ketchup. How are Alana and her family still alive? Science wants to know.

Rednecksploitation. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo opened up a new avenue for the kind of voyeuristic television that makes us queasy, self-righteous, happy, and sad. We felt so many things! So many uncomfortable things. See above re: Toddlers and Tiaras.

Mama Thompson. Admit it, there's some part of Honey Boo Boo's mom we can all relate to. She loves her daughter -- I think that's clear. But like the rest of us, she's just fumbling through parenthood, making mistakes. Unlike the rest of us, she's making all those mistakes on television. Heaven help her! I guess that's why ultimately I kind of agree with Barbara: The love between Alana and her mother is touching ... because it's so real and messy.

Do you think Honey Boo Boo deserves to be one of Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating People"?

 

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